


Brother of Mine

by WinteryFall



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bromance, Complicated Relationships, Flashbacks, For once ichigo is the sense of reason, Forgiveness, Head Injury, Hugs, Hurt Shiro, Hurt/Comfort, Ichigo is a good bro, Multi, Mystery, Neck Kissing, Past Romance, Polyamorous relationship, Protective shiro, Romance, Rough Kissing, Second Chance, Secrets, Twins!ShiroIchi, boy that's actually scary thought, emotional mess, emotional wreck Shiro Kurosaki, eventually anyway, hurt grimmjow, lots of hugs, making amends, polyamorous!Grimmjow, throwing shoes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-04 15:05:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15843771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinteryFall/pseuds/WinteryFall
Summary: Having searched for his pale twin for eight months, Kurosaki Ichigo finally locates his brother - only to find out Shiro has caused a mess as usual. Except this time, the situation is more complicated and personal, because having an enemy hate your guts is one thing. having your lover hate you is a whole other ordeal.Once again, Ichigo must clean up the mess his brother left behind, but this time it might be more difficult than he could've imagined.





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Soo...I came to the conclusion that I need to start writing something else for a change as I'm kind of stuck with my Whispers and Warriors fic, probably also a little bored for having to write the same universe and story constantly. This was an idea I've had for a while and decided to start writing it finally. 
> 
> Hopefully this'll help boost my writing vibes in general so I can continue writing WaW. 
> 
> So yeah. This fic is more of a Shiro x Grimm fic, as I do ship those two as well. It’s fun to write about Shiro too as he’s like, more hotheaded and aggressive version of Ichigo.  
> granted, I did sort of plan on Grimmjow being polyamorous for this one, but we'll see how the story goes.  
> (NO ShiroxIchi for this one obviously, other than bromance, given they are brothers here. They just sorta end up sharing a BF)

The air around him was thick with car exhaust fumes and other lung-damaging dust.

Walking across the dirt littered streets, one had to wonder how he’d been able to get so far into the city’s darker areas without getting mugged yet. Tugging the hood further over his bright orange hair, brown eyes scanned the surroundings, searching for the sign described to him. Glancing at the piece of paper given to him with a roughly drawn neon sign on it, Ichigo looked around, in search for the place.

The old man had told him it would be around these parts.

Some curious glances were aimed his way, but most stayed out of his way after seeing the serious frown on his face. It was probably in his favor that his friends described his mug as in a state of permanent angry scowl; he probably looked like trouble, hence nobody attempted to attack him despite being alone in a rougher part of an already rough hellhole.

After walking few blocks further, Ichigo finally spots the sign he’d been looking for.

A cheap-looking, blue and white neon sign flashing in the darkness indicating the building was a bar. It must’ve once red _’Fraccion’_ like his source had stated, but the first two letters were out.

With a sigh, Ichigo stuffs the piece of paper back into his pants pocket and steps in. It was tidier on the inside, but still full of equally shady people from the street-dwellers, who gave him curious - or menacing - looks depending on if he made eye-contact or not. Walking to the counter, there was a relatively young looking silver haired man serving the customers.

He had an eyepatch over his other eye, which wasn’t that unusual to see in this place apparently.

Ichigo wasn’t exactly accustomed to the bar-scene, so he just ordered a simple beer, cautiously glancing around in search for the person he was looking for. The one-eyed male gives him one suspicious glance but serves the ginger regardless, before hurrying into the other end of the counter to serve a louder customer. Sipping his beer, Ichigo quickly deemed it too strong for his taste and grimaced.

”You’re clearly not from this part of town.”

Came an amused voice from his right, and Ichigo glances up, finding a blond server looking at him with an amused smile, cleaning a glass.

He looked a bit posh for a bartender, but Ichigo was not one to judge.

”I am new here.”

He admitted, knowing it would be pointless to deny it. The blond hums but says nothing, leaving him be.

Taking another sip from his bitter drink, Ichigo lets his gaze wander to the patrons of the bar as well as the workers. Aside from the blond and the eye-patch guy, there was also an older man dealing with customers, and two bigger men who likely worked at bouncers. It was surprisingly quiet right now despite the fact they were in the more volatile part of Hueco Mundo. Ichigo turns his gaze back to his drink and sighs, digging out the small notebook he had and skimmed trough it.

_Eight months._

He’d been searching for eight months, and this was his best clue so far.

Unfortunately, it did not seem like the person of interest was in this place.

A chair was pulled beside him, and as he looked up, Ichigo found himself face-to-face with a dark haired woman, whose hair was in rather childish curly pigtails. She also had really long nails, to the point it looked impractical.

”Hey sweetheart, you must be new here because I’d remember such a cutie otherwise.” She gives him an exaggerated wink, making Ichigo shift uncomfortably.

Sure, given it was a bar the chances of someone flirting with you were high - especially in his case for some reason, which is why he rarely went to places like this as it always made him feel awkward and uncomfortable - but Ichigo wasn’t exactly keen on engaging in such activity.

”I certainly didn’t want to come here, and now I’m even _more_ convinced about it.”

He comments simply, ignoring the annoyed glare he gained from the woman, drinking his drink. She was not the one he came here for.

” **Rude,** do you not know how to speak to a lady?”

”I’m sorry, I couldn’t think of a politer way to say ’fuck off” he informs her dryly.

”Leave ’im be Cirucci, the carrots ain’t interested in ya.”

The one eyed bartender chuckles, and Ichigo almost jumps as she suddenly grabs his drink and _throws_ it at the snickering male, who swiftly dodges the glass projectile.

” **Shut your mouth** DiRoy! Nobody asked your opinion!”

The woman - Cirucci was it? Strange name - hisses at him, but the silver haired server just rolls his eyes and proceeds with his job, cleaning up the mess she caused.

”Please behave yourself; it is not very ladylike to throw things at the employees.”

Ichigo recognizes the old man who walks towards them, a scolding tone to his voice. The woman just huffs and crosses her arms, glaring at the old man.

” **He** was the one being rude. I simply came to say hello to our new guest.”

”And he quite clearly gave you the impression to leave him be. Wouldn’t the polite thing to do be respecting his wishes?”

Ichigo both liked the old man and felt a little unnerved; his calculative stare was freaky, he felt like he was being evaluated somehow. Cirucci stands up and stomps in front of the man, glaring him in the eyes and poking his chest with a sharp fingernail. The ginger was honestly wondering how the hell the guy did not flinch at that, that thing were sharp as hell from the looks of it.

” _Don’t_ patronize me old man! Just because the boss happens to favor your opinion, it doesn’t mean you get to treat me like a child!”

”But you are acting like one, are you not?”

Ichigo just watched the weird confrontation unfold, growing a little concerned that the woman would actually try to claw the elder’s eyes out with her long nails or something. The man himself did not seem concerned though, just calmly responding to her sharp words with controlled mannerism. It DID feel like an adult chastising a child.

”Ugh, you’re impossible to talk to!”

Cirucci finally huffs and marches off, though not before whipping around and giving Ichigo one last glare.

”You better watch your back pretty boy; around here weak get eaten _alive._ ”

Ichigo swallows down, watching her leave.

Sure, he’d kind of gotten the gist of it on the way there, but was she seriously going to get this hostile over him turning her down?

”Pardon her, Cirucci is not used to her charms not working on the younger men around here.” The old man chuckles, offering him a somewhat understanding, though still controlled, smile.

”I....guess so. Never had anyone react that extreme to it though.” Ichigo shrugs, a little miffed she’d thrown his drink away.

As if sensing this, the old man gestures the blond to give him another.

”This is on the house given she rudely took it from you without permission.”

”Uh...thanks I suppose.”

Ichigo mumbles out, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

He was not a huge drinker, but it _did_ help his nerves right now. The whole idea of coming here was crazy, not the least because of the warning stories he’d heard about the person he was looking for. The old man he’d gotten the bar address from seemed convinced he’d end up being eaten alive or skewered or beaten or whatever gruesome deaths one could imagine.

”That being said...I don’t blame her curiosity. You _do_ seem to be new here young man.”

So now the old man was curious too?

Ichigo bites his lip, contemplating on it; the man was clearly someone who worked here, so he would likely know about the person he was searching for, but the same time, he’d been told to not trust anyone so easily.

”I’m just...looking for something, that’s all.”

The old man hums, but seems to sense his reluctance as he doesn’t ask anything further, just wishes him luck in finding whatever it was that he’d lost. Ichigo thanks him, then his eyes drift to the doorway, and his heart almost leapt on his throat. The old man turns around upon hearing the door open, and a pleasant smile appears on his face, indicating he knew the person very well.

”Ah, you’re early young sir.”

The tall male just mumbles something rather irritated sounding under his breath as a greeting, before walking on a further, shadowed corner to sit down. It was clear this one was some form of big deal, with how the patrons nearby tensed, those closest to his table moving away out of what seemed to be fearful respect.

”You could at least greet your former caretaker properly.” The old man scolds him, but the only reaction he receives was an annoyed grunt, as the man lights up a cigarette.

Ichigo kept glancing at them, his heartbeat thundering in his ears.

 

_Blue hair._

_Blue eyes so sharp they cut right trough you._

_A jawbone tattoo on his right cheek._

 

There was no mistaking it, that man had to be **him.**

 

The man his source had told him to look for. Last member of a shady family lineage who controlled majority of things around these parts of Hueco Mundo.

Grimmjow Jeagerjaquez.

 

Swallowing down nervously, Ichigo takes a gulp from his drink. He was not easily spooked by any means, but approaching an apparent mob family leader was a bit different from random street thug or so.

”My, he’s having a _bad_ day it seems.”

Ichigo almost jumps, having forgotten the blond bartender was still nearby. He examines Ichigo amused, likely having seen such a reaction from people towards the blunet before.

”If I were you, I’d be wise to not annoy or approach him right now; he’ll just stab you trough the eye.”

_”What makes you think I was going to?!”_

Ichigo asks the man startled, who just gives him a wry smirk.

”I’ve seen that look before: every single person who’s planning on talking to him has the same deer caught in headlights look on their faces.”

Ugh, was it **that** obvious?

”At least wait till he’s had three or four drinks first; he’ll be more approachable then.” The blond chuckles at him.

Ichigo glances at the blunet again, figuring perhaps he should take the advice. The bartender seemed to know the man rather well so his warning was likely valid.

Besides, Ichigo wasn’t sure if he could get the right words out of his mouth just yet.

He hadn’t exactly thought of _what_ to say in case he did run into the man, but it better be something that didn’t get him killed.

So, he settled back down, occasionally glancing towards the blunet while trying to form the right words. He wasn’t sure if the man would have the info he needed, and if he did, why he had it. Ichigo’s worst fear was that the blunet knew because...because he’d _done_ something to Shiro.

It was a possibility, Shiro had always been good at pissing people off.

 _Especially_ the wrong kind of people.

Grimmjow Jeagerjaquez was _definitely_ the wrong kind of people.

He isn’t entirely sure how long he sits there, but Ichigo is fairly certain the bartender had filled his glass again without him even asking, as the ginger was pretty sure it should’ve been empty by now. His head was also starting to buzz, a sign of slight intoxication.

Then, a presence appears nearby him, and as Ichigo manages to tear his gaze away from his drink, he almost chokes to his own breath.

The blunet was now standing _right_   _beside_ him, leaning casually against the counter, hands in his pockets.

With the fur-collared leather jacket and awfully casual clothing, he looked more like a common thug than a mobster, but still no less intimidating.

Calmly, he plucks the cigarette away from his lips, blowing some smoke into the air before looking down at the ginger.

”So? What do you want from me?”

Ichigo blinks, completely caught off guard. The man smirks a bit, the smile slightly predatory with the canines he sported, but it seemed to be in good humor for now.

”Lil bird told me ya wanted ta talk ta me.”

Likely one of the people working here had informed the man.

Ichigo swallows down and steadies his thoughts, turning on his chair to face the blunet. He was still nervous, but likely it was better to answer than keep this man waiting.

”I am...looking for someone, and I was led to believe you might know where this person is.”

The blunet hums, taking a drag out of his cigarette.

”A lotta folk disappear around here. Just ’cause I might know where they were, it don’t mean they’re there now.”

”I uh....was led to believe in this case you would know exactly where they are.”

The blue eyes zero in on him, and suddenly Ichigo felt a chill travel down his spine. ** _Yup,_** now he definitely felt like a deer caught in headlights as the blond had said - or prey being stalked by a predator.

”...And who’s yer source?”

Ichigo swallows down nervously; yeah, someone of his status would likely be suspicious of any newcomer in case they were a cop, though Ichigo was pretty sure he didn’t look like one. Still though....

”He...didn’t really want me telling his identity.”

A hand grasps his jaw and Ichigo freezes in place, as the man forcefully tilts his head up, examining him with half-lidded eyes. His gaze was unreadable, but Ichigo could tell he was being evaluated again. After a moment, the blunet huffs and let’s go of him. The ginger rubs his jaw; he’d be surprised if that wouldn’t bruise with how tight the grip had been.

”Nah, too stupidly naive lookin' ta be a cop.”

The blunet mutters out more to himself than Ichigo, blowing out another cloud of smoke before leaving the counter, gesturing Ichigo to follow him.

After a moment of hesitation, the ginger gets up and follows the man to his table, sensing all the stares in his back.

Sitting down on the shadowy corner and facing the man, Ichigo was still uncertain on what to expect. He had no clue of the man was willing to listen to his request, or was just luring him to a trap.

”What’s yer name kid?”

The ginger frowns a bit; sure he looked kind of young, but surely not that young.

”Ichigo. I’m twenty already by the way.”

Grimmjow just smirks, clearly amused by his slightly peeved expression. He turns off his cigarette on the ashtray on the table, before leaning back on his chair, arms casually swung over the back of the couch.

”So? Who’s it yer looking for that I apparently know about?” T

he ginger hesitates for a moment, licking his lips nervously.

”I...my brother. He...he came here a while back in search for some .....answers I suppose, but I haven’t heard of him in almost a year now.”

The blunet hums, examining him quietly now. The blue eyes were even freakier in the dark than they had been under the dim and atmospheric bar-lights.

”Answers huh? Lotta folk don’t do that around ’ere. Usually they’e _hiding_ from somethin’ I recon.”

Ichigo shrugs, telling the man he wasn’t a local so he didn’t exactly know the area and it’s people that well.

”That much was obvious from the get go.”

Grimmjow chuckles at him, brushing trough his hair.

”So. Searching for yer brother huh?”

Ichigo just nods, glancing aside for a bit. He was still nervous, especially with all the glances aimed at them from the bar goers as well as the people working there. This was likely not an unusual sight and the people were curious as to what someone youthful and relatively non-criminal looking person wanted from the crime boss.

”What’s his name?”

Had Ichigo known the upcoming reaction, he would’ve probably kept his mouth shut.

” _Shiro_. Shiro Kurosaki.”

One could almost hear the whole bar go _silent,_ and everyone was now staring at him in shock and horror.

Ichigo glances around confused, then turns his gaze back to Grimmjow, heart leaping into his throat.

The blunet’s earlier amused smirk had disappeared, and his face was in shadows now.

The aura around the man however, was borderline **_murderous._**

”......I _knew_ you looked familiar.”

His voice was quiet, but it seethed with stealth that seeped ice into Ichigo’s very bones.

The next second, the blunet suddenly shot up, grabbing his collar and throwing him to the floor harshly, blue eyes slitted with a vicious snarl escaping his throat.

”You can fuck RIGHT off Kurosaki! I don’t want **_anythin’_** ta do with that piece of **_shit,_** EVER AGAIN!”

Ichigo scrambles up in shock, his head a little dizzy from the impact. Before he could voice anything out, the blunet actually kicks him, making the ginger stumble back and crash against the nearest table. Some of the bar goers fled the scene, and even the normally collected old man had a rather surprised expression on his face.

Ichigo wipes his nose, noting it was bleeding now; a bit of anger entered his system, like it often did when mentioning his brother’s name caused this reaction.

Shiro wasn’t a bad person, he just got in trouble a _lot._

”I don’t know what your problem is, but...”

**_”Leave, before I kill you, brat.”_ **

The low, dangerous hiss was a clear indication that he was serious.

_”Boy...”_

Glancing at the old man, Ichigo saw a bit of concern in his eyes, as they flickered between the enraged blunet and him.

His attention was quickly turned back to Grimmjow however, as he steps closer and grabs his collar, bringing them face to face.

” **Leave**. And don’t  ever fucking show yer face to me. That albino bastard can **_rot in hell!_** ”

He then marches to the door and actually _throws_ him back out to the cold, dirty street.

Ichigo watches the door close behind him, just sitting on the ground in light confusion and shock. In a way, he should have expected this; it was _Shiro._

Still...his source had never indicated that his dumbass of a twin had actually gotten on Jeagerjaquez’ bad side.

Maybe the old man hadn’t known, maybe he forgot to tell him.

With a slow sigh, Ichigo gets up and dusts himself off, feeling at a loss right now. That was his only lead, but clearly, Shiro had done something to anger the man.

Grimmjow’s threat echoed in his ears as well, and Ichigo was hundred percent certain he’d meant _every_ word.

The ginger looks around, unsure on what he should do next. Every bit of this town felt hostile with the unpleasant air, dirty streets and suspicious looking folk. Yet, it was getting late, he should probably find a place to stay overnight and consider his next step in the morning.

With a sigh, the ginger starts walking, searching for someplace to crash the night. Surely there had to be some motel around here. He didn’t care how shitty it was, as long as he could escape the exhaust fumes and dirt around him for a little bit.

The ginger did not notice the shadowy figures following him.

 

 

 

 

 

_”Shiro, this whole plan is crazy.”_

_”I dun’ care Ichi! I’m gonna go an’ find the bastard for doin’ this ta mum!”_

_”Shiro, you’ll just get killed, let the police handle this.”_

_”They dun work fast enough! Come on, don’t ya want justice fer her?”_

_”Not like this! Vigilantism won’t solve anything!”_

 

 

_”Shiro, wait!”_

 

 

_”Shiro!”_


	2. brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo is in a pinch, but Shiro busts trough any door to save his twin - literally

When he woke up, his head throbbed like crazy.

The ginger attempts to bring his hand up to rub his forehead, but soon discovers he was unable to move them.

Eventually the haze clears, and Ichigo realizes he was locked in a small room, his hands tied behind his back.

His head still hurt, but slowly, the ginger began to recall what had occurred; he’d been searching for a motel or so when someone had suddenly whacked him in the head, making him black out.

”Just my luck huh?”

Ichigo mutters out, trying to somehow push himself upright using the wall as a leverage. He could feel some dried blood on his hair, indicating the hit had been pretty bad. Eventually, he manages to push himself up, but then almost topples over again in a fit of nausea.

A second later, the door pops open, bathing the room in bright light, making Ichigo momentarily blind as well.

Once his eyes adjust, he is greeted by a sneering face and spiky red hair.

”Oh look, little princess is awake.”

”Who the hell are you?” Ichigo manages to spat out, then regrets talking as his head ached like _crazy_ , lights dancing in his eyes.

”Menis, but that fact is of no importance to you.”

The guy informs him, then grabs the ginger and drags him somewhere across the dirty floors.

The place seemed like some sort of half-abandoned apartment block, though Ichigo could not say for certain with how blurry his vision was. Eventually, after what felt like being dragged over sandpaper and nails for miles, he is dropped to what seemed like a chair, and moments later, another man with a fancy mustache enters the room.

”Ahh, the alleged _brothe_ r of Shiro Kurosaki. I heard rumors about you.”

Ichigo felt too nauseous to even reply, so he just glared at the man. Did these guys also have beef with his twin?

Why Shiro just HAD to be such a troublemaker?

”It was rather stupid of you to go and speak with Jeagerjaquez directly about this. The result was inevitable.” The man chuckles at him, and Ichigo wanted to ask what the hell he meant, but was worried he’d just puke if he opened his mouth.

The mustached man seems aware of his discomfort, as he smirks amused, crossing his arms.

”My, it seems the hit we dealt to you was a bit _too_ strong. Perhaps instead of confusing you, I should get straight to the point.”

Ichigo manages to huff out a reply, then closes his eyes tightly as his vision blistered again.

”We are also looking for your brother, for he has been causing quite the trouble around here.”

Ugh, did Shiro really manage to piss off this _whole_ town?

Figures.

Maybe he _shouldn’t_ be so surprised about it at this point, after knowing Shiro for so long.

”Having you here is a stroke of luck; that albino bastard will certainly come and try to save your ass.” The redhead comments with a snicker, clearly itching for a fight or something.

Ichigo gives him a glare, sensing his head was clearing up slowly.

”Indeed; rumors spread fast in Hueco Mundo, especially around this part. He’ll show up sooner or later and then we’ll....”

Suddenly, something **_crashes_** trough the door behind the redhead, effectively crushing him under the weight of the wooden piece, and a hurl of white whips past Ichigo, punching the mustache man _square_ in the face.

His kidnapped stumbles back, and Ichigo gapes at the black hoodie-wearing pale figure, who was currently snarling curses at the mustached man, in awe.

The man who'd just gotten viciously introduced to his attacker's fist now spotted a massive bruise on his face, alongside what seemed like a broken nose.

**_”Don’cha dare ta lay a finger n’ my brother, bastard!”_ **

The man reaches for his belt, likely for a weapon, but Shirosaki kicks him again with a snarl, effectively knocking the man out.

Catching movement on the corner of his eye, Ichigo makes a noise to warn Shiro, just as the redhead pulls out a gun and points it at the albino.

”Hah, Patros was right! Catching your pretty little brother was _bound_ to bring you here!”

Ichigo could tell the impact of a heavy wooden door collapsing on the guy was having an effect as his aim was wavering.

Still, they were in close proximity.

Ichigo manages to move his chair and tip it over, effectively knocking the guy down with him before he could fire at Shiro. The pale brother doesn’t stay stunned for long, as he kicks the gun aside and effectively mauls the guy’s face into similar condition as his boss’ with another swing of his leg.

”Ichi! The fuck’re ya doin’ ’ere?”

He demands, untying the ginger who slumps heavily against him, sucking in a deep breath as tears suddenly began to fill his eyes. His hair was longer, his clothes dirtier, but it was still the same old Shiro. Vicious scowl on his face, bright golden eyes peering into him with stubbornness and concern, pale skin so white one could almost think he rubbed chalk all over himself.

Shiro was _alive._

He’d feared this whole time he’d find out the stubborn bastard had died.

Yet, there he was.

**_Alive._ **

”Holy fucking shit Ichi, don’ start sniffing on my shirt. We gotta get _outta_ here before they wake up.”

Shiro tells him firmly, although clutches onto his twin brother tightly, clearly as relieved to see him as Ichigo was.

He then starts dragging the still wobbly ginger trough the open doorway.

_”How’d you...”_

”Those two were right that rumors spread fast. Tho n’ this case I saw ’em whacking you n’ followed em here.”

Shirosaki tells him while hurrying down the stairs, half carrying the ginger.

”I guess I shoulda not be surprised you managed to piss people off here...” Ichigo mutters out, gaining a slight snicker from his twin.

The laughter quickly dies down however as Shiro seems to realize in what condition Ichigo actually was.

”Hang in there Ichi, ’m gonna bring us ta my hidin’ place, n’ we can fix that.”

The ginger just hums as a response, feeling his consciousness start slipping again.

 

 

 

 

Shiro did his best sneaking around the streets while carrying the dead weight of his younger twin, eventually reaching the old building with a large hole on the side.

A truck had once collided with it or something, he didn’t know the details.

Reaching the floor where he’d been staying, Shiro enters the small dusty apartment and plops Ichigo onto the old mattress he had on the almost empty bedroom, and scrambles to search for the first aid kit.

Going to a hospital wasn’t an option around here, for the wrong people could find out about it; true to his style, Shiro already had enemies in this place.

Luckily their dad was a doctor, so both twins had knowledge on first aid.

Still, it as hard for him to focus on patching up the nasty wound when his heart was racing so bad.

When Shiro had first heard the rumors about someone seeing a ginger version of him around here this morning, he’d dismissed them.

But then...he’d seen Ichi with his _own_ eyes.

The pale figure pauses and sucks in a deep breath to calm down, for his hands were shaking like crazy.

It wasn’t just the relief of seeing Ichi there; Shiro _knew_ all too well that his twin was going to drop himself in the middle of a **huge** mess by coming here.

That was why he’d not contacted Ichigo for a long time, despite knowing he was probably concerned, alongside Yuzu and Karin.

”Shit, Ichi why didya hafta come ’ere?”

Shiro mutters while patching him up, trying his damnest to remain calm, despite wanting to shake the ginger moron and smack him for coming. Once Shiro was done, he kicks the first aid kit aside and just slides against the wall, sucking in a deep breath.

It wasn’t just seeing Ichi that made him feel so on the edge.

He’d actually been around there because he’d wanted to go ......and see _him._

He’d wanted to explain himself so badly for so long, and he’d _finally_ gathered the courage to go back.

To go and **_hope_**   beyond hope that Grimmjow wouldn’t just shoot him in the face on the spot.

Then...he’d seen Ichi, and his need to make amends was thrown out of the fucking window for now, replaced by the need to protect his twin brother.

Glancing down at the sleeping ginger, Shiro swallows down hard, not knowing what to do once Ichi woke up.

 

 

 

When he stirred, Ichigo noted there was something around his head, a bandage probably.

He was also resting on something relatively soft.

His aching wasn’t as bad anymore, and after a while, he was able to open his eyes relatively pain free. He was in a small room, lying on a dusty mattress. Some early morning light was seeping in trough the cracks on the boarded window, illuminating the dust particles floating in the air. Turning his head slowly, Ichigo finds Shiro asleep on the feet end of the mattress, curled up like a giant white cat. He always slept like that for some reason, ever since he was a kid.

He still looked tense, as if he was ready to bolt into action in case it was needed.

Slowly, Ichigo pushes himself up, still feeling somewhat dizzy.

As if sensing he was awake, the albino’s eyes crack open, and golden eyes lock with the brown ones. Shiro’s eyes were wide like those of a frightened animal, and he examines Ichigo intently, as if to see if he was okay.

”Shiro...”

**_”What the hell were you thinking?!”_ **

The albino spats at him all of a sudden, and Ichigo flinches as the volume of his voice did hurt his ears. A second later Shiro grabs his shoulders and squeezes them hard, glaring at Ichigo with the intensity of thousand suns.

”I could ask the same from you.”

Ichigo fires back, though his voice was still quiet.

_”You could’ve gotten killed!”_

This time the albino seems to ignore his injury and just shakes Ichigo, before letting him go and allowing the ginger to drop back onto the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut until the dizziness passed.

”Right...back at _you._ I told you this whole idea was dangerously stupid; and it seems I was right.”

He opens his eyes again to glare up at Shiro who was hovering over him with earlier anger still clearly visible, though it was mixed with concern too.

”You’ve pissed off a lot of people around here, _dangerous_ people. When will you learn that such a thing is an EXTREMELY shitty idea?!”

”Psh. Patros is just a local illegal goods dealer that got pissy at me for kicking his best runner’s ass.”

Shiro waves hand dismissively, shifting back to allow Ichigo to sit up again. The ginger noted he was breathing rather quickly, and his eyes were wide and sharp, his entire body tense.

Shiro was clearly still ready for a fight, and Ichigo had an awful feeling this tenseness was constant to him now, like he was always ready to bolt and run.

His twin had not been like this back then.

”Shiro...”

He reaches a hand tentatively to his brother’s shoulder, and a moment later he deflates, and shifts to hug Ichigo firmly, mindful of his wounds.

”Don’ get me wrong Ichi; m’ happy to see ya, it’s just...this shit is dangerous.”

”Yeah I noticed: that blue haired crime boss threatened my life over you, so you _bet_ this is dangerous.”

Shiro freezes upon hearing those words and pushes back, examining his brother closely.

”You.... _met_ Grimm?”

_Grimm?_

”I was told he’d know where you are.”

The albino flinches and shifts back, looking around even tenser than before.

” _Fuckin’ hell,_ I hope not. He’s got plenty of reasons ta kill me, dun need him ta actually be _able_ ta do so.”

”....Shiro, _what_ did you do?”

The ginger asks after a moment of silence, and golden eyes land back at him, wide and... **guilty?**

It was so bizarre, but the look Shiro was giving to him right now was the same look he’d give to their mom as a kid when she scolded him for doing something bad like starting a fight at school. Shiro didn't usually feel shame over his actions that resulted people in hating him, because he often felt what he'd done was justified.

Before Ichigo could ask anything, a sound was heard from somewhere nearby, and Shirosaki’s eyes sharpen as his head turns towards the noise. He gets up swiftly and pulls out a knife much to Ichigo’s concern, stalking towards the sound. Moments later he seems to relax however, putting the knife back.

”Fuckin’ hell, I’ve told ya not ta sneak on me ya bastard.”

Moments later, a figure appeared into the doorway, a silver haired man Ichigo didn’t recognize.

”Ah, sorry Shi, I suppose my steps are still too light even for yer ears.”

The man rubs his head with a sheepish smile, then turns his slitted eyes towards Ichigo.

”This must be your brother Ichi, correct?”

Shiro lets out a slight snarl and steps between them protectively, prompting the man to bring his hands up.

”Woah there! Ya know I woulda _nawt_ hurt Shi’s family.”

The albino just stares at him for a moment, before relaxing again. He shrugs, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

”Gotta be careful; Patros n’ his goon already tried ta beat Ichi up.”

”Oh my! Is he okay?” The silver haired man examines Ichigo curiously now, and the ginger didn’t exactly like the way he was being stared at again.

It was less open hostility now though.

This guy’s gaze felt more like clinical examination, and while Ichigo was used to doctors having that, he did _not_ know who this guy was nor what was his deal with Shiro.

”Ichi, this is Gin. He’s been helpin’ me wit’ what I set out ta do.”

”Uh...nice to meet you I guess?”

”Indeed it’s a pleasure ta finally meet ya, Ichi! Shi speaks so fondly of you!”

Ichigo didn’t know how to react; it felt weird to have someone else but their family to refer to Shiro as _Shi._

He **only** let good friends do that.

Ichigo wasn’t sure if he was comfortable with the idea of this guy being a close friend to Shiro.

There was just something unnerving about Gin.

”Ah, but you must be upset with Shi, he gave me the impression you thought this whole idea was rather silly.”

Ichigo almost wanted to snort.

_Silly?_

That was an **understatement of the century.**

”Gin, why are ya here? Normally ya dun show up this early.”

The silver haired man turns surprisingly serious and turns his full attention to Shiro.

”Patros survived your little knockdown and is rather angry. His thugs are patrolling the streets lookin’ for ya.”

Shiro just shrugs, clearly not concerned.

”Ya do realize if they start causin’ trouble ta Jeagerjaquez, he’ll come for yer head.”

Ichigo watches Shiro visibly tense again, and after a moment, his voice comes out oddly even, as if he was trying to hide a shit ton of emotion.

”As if; he’s got enough power n’ presence ta just tell the fuckers ta leave an’ they’ll run off pissing their pants.”

Gin sighs and shakes his head, crossing his arms with a slight frown on his face.

”Maybe, but it would be the perfect excuse ta hunt you down. Jeagerjaquez _knows_ ya still around.”

Ichigo watches their exchange a bit confused; he still did not know what Shiro had done to piss off the mob family boss, let alone why he seemed guilty about it.

Namely because usually Shiro didn’t care about angering bunch of criminals and thugs.

Even those as dangerous as Grimmjow.

”So the fuck ya want me ta do? Gin ya know I ain’t leavin’ till I find out the shithead who killed my and Ichi’s ma.”

The albino near _demands_ from his ’friend’ who backs away again, holding his hands up.

”Just tellin’ ya ta be careful. Yer the only nice company around these parts of town, I’d rather **not** see you drop dead.”

His words sounded sincere enough, but Ichigo still found it hard to but them fully. This guy was just so full of weird unnerving vibes.

” _Please_ , ya got the kind of silver-tongue that ya could charm anyone onto yer side.”

Shiro tells him with a snort, gaining an awkward laugh from Gin.

”Not when people expect it.”

He then remarks holding a finger up, winking at Shiro, who just rolls his eyes.

”That aside...I would be careful with my next steps if I were ya.”

Gin adds, nodding towards Ichigo, who was still watching them, following the conversation only barely, for he did not know all the details. Shiro’s lips turn into a tight line as he examines Ichigo with that same mixture of fury and concern.

”Yer bro, while he sounds tough from ya stories, dunno this place very well. The fact he already got on Jeagerjaquez’ bad side by purely mentioning yer name n’ also had Patros attack him...he ain’t prepared fer this place.”

Ichigo wanted to protest at Gin’s apparent analysis of his capabilities, but it wasn’t like the man was wrong.

He did _not_ know Hueco Mundo, not like Shiro apparently did. Ichigo had just arrived here the day before, and had never been to this godforsaken city before.

”What I’m sayin’ is...even if ya won’t stop, ya better get ’im to safety n’ soon.”

Gin tells Shiro with a surprisingly firm tone, and the albino bites his lip, shooting Ichigo a dirty look.

The meaning was not lost to ginger, for he already knew what the problem in Gin’s statement was.

There was **_no way in hell_** he’d just leave Shiro here.

”Thanks fer the warnin’ Gin. Imma deal wit’ this soon enough.”

Shiro tells the man dismissively, still glaring at Ichigo, who was glaring back equally.

”...very well then. Oh, also!”

He digs into his coat pockets and pulls something out, something that seemed like an usb-stick.

”Got the thing ya asked. Maybe it’ll give ya a new lead.”

Shiro grabs it without further words, eyes blazing with interest now.

”Thanks Gin. I’ll hit ya up if I need anythin’ else.”

The silver haired man nods, giving Ichigo a cheerful wave before sinking back into shadows. The albino sighs and puts the usb-stick into his pocket, before walking back to Ichigo who had tons of questions about the whole convo just now.

”Long story, right now we ain’t got time fer that.”

He cuts Ichigo off before he could voice out any of his questions, crouching down next to what Ichigo recognized as the old black pack bag Shiro had taken with him when he left.

Digging trough it for a bit, the albino eventually curses, standing up with a frown on his face.

”Shoulda asked Gin ta bring some food too. M’out again.”

At the mention of that, Ichigo’s stomach growled loudly, which wasn’t surprising given he hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning, on the train on the way here.

The pale twin sighs and looks up at Ichigo with a deep frown.

”Wait ’ere. I’m gonna go grab us a bite to eat.”

”Why can’t I come with you?” Ichigo protests and attempts to sit up, but he is far too dizzy to do so and just slumps right back down.

Shiro rolls his eyes and digs trough his bag again, pulling out a gun much to Ichigo’s horror.

”Imma leave this ’ere for ya just in case. No one’s really raided this place before, but better be safe than sorry.”

Ichigo just stared at his brother.

Sure, Shiro could be violent, but a _gun?_

The albino gives him an amused smirk, tugging the bag over his shoulder.

” _When in Rome_ , as they say.”

Before the ginger could say anything in protest, Shiro dashes out, disappearing into the early morning light like Gin had just moments before.

With a sigh, the ginger rubs his eyes, wondering just what the hell he got himself mixed into once again.

 

 

 

 

Shiro slipped past the masses of people, looking for some food. The streets of Hueco Mundo were quite different during daytime, because people pretended the town was not filled with crime and other kinds of dirt. The market he was currently in seemed almost normal. Shiro didn’t have any cash, but that was fine; he mostly snatched any shit he needed nowadays anyway.

Back then it had been easier; with Grimmjow he hadn’t needed to worry about something as simple as having food.

Shiro pauses and shakes his head, knowing there was no point in thinking about this.

He was never gonna forgive him.

What’s done is done.

Eventually, he spots the food court of the market and slips in, looking around carefully.

Given his pale face stood out rather well, Shiro had taken a habit of wearing a scarf to cover his face whenever he was out for ’shopping.’ Since a lot of people wore some sort of protective gear over their mouths and noses, his scarf didn’t stand out as much as his pale face.

He also always tried to go to different parts.

Often times Gin brought him food too, but this time Shiro had to go out himself.

Snatching stuff while passing by the small shops wasn’t too hard due to the huge amount of people around there, bargaining and making noise in general. Occasionally he had to sprint for someone spotted him, but this had become bit of a routine so it was easy.

Shiro had felt bad for stealing initially, but over the last two months that he was forced to do so, he'd quickly become numb to it.

Sure, he could’ve just gone home, but his stubbornness didn’t let him.

Eventually he’d gathered enough stuff for them to eat as breakfast and quickly dashes into a narrow alleyway, escaping in the nick of time from the fruit-seller who’d chased after him due to noticing Shiro grabbing a few of his apples. After he was certain he was safe, Shiro stops with a sigh and tugs his scarf down, crouching to check on all the stuff he got.

Some apples, oranges, two water bottles, a loaf of bread and a sweet looking pastry.

That would do for now; getting protein wasn’t as easy with this technique, and he didn’t have working apparatus to cook them at the moment.

Getting electricity to that place was pretty hard at the moment as his generator had busted few days back; Gin _still_ hadn’t found the spare parts needed to repair it, which was a pain in the ass.

He’d proposed Shiro to come live with him, but he felt ......reluctant to do so.

Part of it was out of level of awkwardness as sometimes he felt like Gin was flirting with him, part some sort of self-inflicted punishment due to what had happened. He'd messed up, so he might as well make life hard for him and suffer, because he damned well deserved it.

Shiro tugs the bag over his shoulder again and gets up, heading back for Ichi.

However, the pale Kurosaki is soon forced to divert as he sees a bunch of men he recognizes as Patros’ goons. Gin hadn’t been kidding, the mustache bastard _really_ had it out for him because of that broken nose.

With an irritated grumble, Shiro switches to another route, skirting past most of the patrols, eventually ending up on the roofs. He’d travelled trough here several times before, though it wasn’t that comfortable as he felt exposed under direct sunlight. Shiro stops to take a breather, already seeing the abandoned building he was saying at in sight. Since the sun was directly behind it, Shiro turns his gaze away for a bit to not get blinded.

He should probably find a way down soon.

As he gazes the scenery, the albino suddenly realizes he was looking back to a very familiar direction.

Far back, near the most western end of Hueco Mundo, was the _manor._

_Grimmjow's house._

He feels his heart ache a bit, and Shiro bites his lip, shaking his head.

Not now, he didn’t have time for this, Ichi needed him. Forcing himself to move, Shiro dashes down the emergency stairs at the side of the building, hurrying back towards his hideout.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have couple of chapters written already. I'm trying to keep this fic a bit more focused, as I have a bad habit of writing unnecessary filler sometimes when I try to make sure shit doesn't happen too fast. here' I'll try and keep it compact, hopefully anyway.


	3. confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While getting medicine for his brother, Shiro runs into that one person he wishes he didn't.

Ichigo looks up cautiously upon hearing the noise, but relaxes as he sees the familiar pale figure enter the place with a grin plastered on his face.

”Missed me?”

Ichigo just rolls his eyes as Shiro walks beside him, dropping the bag and digging out a fruit or two to him, alongside a water bottle. He also takes the gun and puts it away much to ichigo's relief. He was surprised Shiro was able to handle those after what happened to their mother.

”Coulda not get much right now; Gin’s gonna pop back in the evening n’ likely bring more food.”

”Did you buy these?”

Ichigo asks, already knowing the answer. Shiro just shrugs, grabbing his water bottle and downing it at one go.

They eat in silence, with Ichigo having several burning questions running trough his mind, not knowing where to start.

”So, how didya find me? Didn't look like ya carried much stuff with you.”

The ginger looks up at his twin, who was examining him curiously.

”I...asked around, _even_ from the guys who you’d usually have beef with. I heard rumors you’d have come here. I figured it was as good a lead as any.” He pauses, taking another bite from his apple and chowing it down.

"As for my stuff...well....it got stolen when I arrived." Ichigo admits sheepishly after a moment of silence, gaining a slight laugh from Shiro, who nudges his shoulder, telling him that was bound to happen in this place if one brought expensive looking stuff with them.

"It didn't look THAT costly! it was one of those old bags from the back of the storage room; I just put it down for like a minute!"

Shiro just keeps snickering at him, and Ichigo finds it hard to be mad, seeing his brother smile for a change. So, instead, he turns his attention back to the food.

”Honestly, I ran into that old man by chance, who told me about Jeagerjaquez and that he apparently knew you.”

Shiro pauses again, swallowing down nervously as he avoided Ichigo’s gaze.

The ginger frowns at his reaction, but doesn’t ask anything, not yet.

”You even asked _those f_ uckers? Boy ya were desperate.”

Shiro manages to comment with a nervous chuckle, gaining a shrug from Ichigo.

”I asked from a lot of people; I even had a notebook just to keep track on all the leads I found....”

Ichigo reaches for his pocket, then frowns in confusion, turning them over.

”Ah crap....I must’ve dropped it somewhere.”

Ichigo sighs a little annoyed.

”The notebook?”

The ginger nods, holding his chin.

”Might’ve been when those two captured me, or maybe I forgot it in the bar. Hard to say.”

Shirosaki frowns a bit, noting Ichi seemed a bit too upset over one notebook.

”Ya alright?”

”Yeah, it’s just...” Ichigo sighs and rubs his head with an awkward smile.

”It was the one mum gave me. You know, the ridiculous looking one with a ginger cat on it.”

Shiro’s eyes widen; yeah, he remembered that silly notebook. It looked childish as fuck, but since their mum gave it to Ichi, it had a lot of emotional value.

It was the _last_ gift she ever gave to Ichi, before she was killed. Same as a certain white cat plush he had back at home. Shiro had not taken it with him, though having ichi mention the notebook made him suddenly regret that decision. 

”I can go and look for it; there ain’t many places it could be in.”

Shiro offers, but Ichigo shakes his head.

”It’s fine, it’s just a notebook.”

He offers with a smile, though Shiro could tell his twin was rather miffed about the situation. The pale figure sighs then focuses his attention on the bandage around Ichigo’s head.

”How’re ya feeling?”

”Better; no longer dizzy or anything, though I still have a headache.” Ichigo answers truthfully.

Shiro hums and then unties the bandage to check on the injury. Honestly, it was hard to judge how bad the injury actually was. It looked better, but knowing how head injuries could be, there might’ve been some hidden damage.

”Ya should go to hospital.”

”Why didn’t you bring me there then?”

”Hueco Mundo’s hospital is shit, n’ the bad guys could’ve gotten ya there.”

Shiro explains as he reapplies a fresh bandage around his brother’s head.

”Then what?”

”Well...the closest city with less scummy hospital is Rukongai. I guess we should bring ya there.”

Ichigo frowns, not liking the idea; he’d heard of Rukongai and it had only _marginally_ better reputation to Hueco Mundo.

”We can’t use routine routes tho; m’ pretty badly wanted right now and don’t wanna send you off on yer own.” Shiro mutters out holding his chin, seemingly thinking out loud rather than conversing with Ichigo.

”Just...what the _hell_ have you done around here? This kind of feels worse than the usual tornado you leave behind....”

The albino says nothing, just digs around his bag.

Eventually, he pulls out a cellphone.

It looked relatively old, being a flip phone.

”I guess I gotta call Gin to ask him to arrange something; hopefully this got battery as I haven't been able to charge this damn thing after the generator broke.” He mumbles out opening the thing, glad to find it still indeed had battery.

He seriously needed to get that damn generator fixed soon.

”....How did you even _meet_ that guy? How do you know he’s trustworthy?”

Shiro shrugs, closing the phone after sending the message.

”Let’s just say we share a common goal.”

That wasn’t exactly reassuring, but Ichigo knew his brother by now to not bother trying to get a clearer answer.

With a sigh, he finishes the meal and attempts to get up again.

This time he managed to stand up, though his legs were wobbly.

”Oi, careful there!” Shiro jumps up and supports him, helping Ichigo to walk across and out of the bedroom and sit down onto the old dusty couch on the combined kitchen and living-room - former was not really working since there was no electricity at the moment.

”I guess ya can’t move around much without help yet.”

Shiro concludes upon noticing how pale Ichigo had gotten with just taking a few steps inside a tiny apartment.

”Yeah...I guess.” Ichigo mumbles reluctantly, closing his eyes as his head began to hurt pretty bad again.

Shiro watches him concerned, then sighs and gets up.

”Hold on. I’m out of pain meds but know a place where to get some for ya.”

”Shiro, are you sure it’s safe?”

Ichigo asks with a frown, and the pale figure didn’t blame him; in this shady place, risk of having shitty medicine disguised as a real deal was very real.

However...

”Yes. I know the person and have gotten medication from ’em before.”

The ginger examines him for a moment then sighs and nods, not having much energy to argue with his brother right now.

Shiro grabs a blanket and drapes it over Ichigo, who’d lied down covering his face.

”Don’t go anywhere I’ll be right back.”

With that, he dashes out of the door again, this time not handing Ichigo the gun, as he'd noticed how uncomfortable ichi had been with it. if the ginger would need it he knew where it was now, though Shiro doubted he would.

 

 

 

 

The small shop was a bit of a mess as usual.

Shiro watches for a moment in silent dumbfounded _awe_ as the two hurl around trying to clean up the latest mess they made.

Eventually though, the slimmer of the two notices him and coughs, greeting their visitor.

”Shiro, good morning!”

”Pesche, what ta _fuck_ ya guys did now? Why are ya still wearing that weird ass mask?”

The man shrugs and rubs his head while mumbling some sort of excuse under his breath.

This happened almost every time really, so Shiro no longer expected a proper reason.

He and his massive friend always wore those weird halloween masks while in the shop. He was surprised anyone dared to come in with how freaky the pair looked, especially Dondochakka with his giant ass one covering his face.

”I need some painkillers.”

”Ah! Did you hurt yourself again?”

Shiro shakes his head with a sigh, grabbing a glass jar that Dondochakka accidentally knocked off the shelf, sliding it smoothly to the table beside him.

”Nah; it’s my brother; he decided to pay a surprise visit fer me.”

Pesche lets out a loud _’whaaaat’_ and then proceeds to support the flimsy ladder as Dondochakka almost falls over with them.

”Well, well that is _wonderful!_ You always spoke so highly of your little brother!”

”Just gimme the medication; I dun wanna leave him alone for too long.”

”Ah, of course!”

Pesche lets go of the ladder, forgetting he was holding them up, and Dondochakka crashes to the floor with a loud sound, knocking several things down from the tables and shelves. Shiro watches the two panic and attempt to clean the mess, then just sighs and walks to the back, figuring he might as well go and get the shit himself.

The two sold a lot of random shit disguised as antiques, but they also had a secret stash of medicine and medical supplies they sometimes handed for those too poor to afford them. It was a secret giveaway thing their boss had started a while back upon seeing how many Hueco Mundoan people struggled to even get basic care for themselves.

Shiro had used their help occasionally, though now he had to be more secretive about it, given their boss was someone _closely_ connected to Grimmjow.

If _she_ found out he dropped by occasionally, she’d probably tell her brother. He'd never told the two idiots - and he said that with all the genuine affection he had to the two fumbling buffoons - that he knew their boss and her brother personally, and for a good reason.

Shiro shakes his head and digs trough the stash, trying to find something suitable for Ichi.

Suddenly, he could hear the door open to the shop and the chaos outside pauses for a moment. The pale figure tenses as he hears a familiar female voice. ”What are you two sillies doing now?” Shit.

It was _Nel._

”Ah, Ms. Nelliel! We uhm, we were trying to tidy up the shop but unfortunately, things got a little out of hand.”

The woman just laughs at Pesche’s explanation, clearly not too bothered by the giant mess the two had made in their attempt of ’cleaning up.’

”I see, well, try to be more careful next time.”

Her voice sounded closer, meaning she was heading for the back. Shiro quickly stuffed as many things as he could to his bag, before rushing to the back window; Nel was a damn nice woman, but after what happened she was about as forgiving as her brother. Shiro was even more afraid of facing _her_ than he could ever be Grimmjow.

Grimmjow would just kill him.

Nel could make him feel like a terrible piece of shit if she wanted to, and it wouldn't even be hard to do in his case given he already felt like crap about the whole thing.

Swiftly, the pale figure climbs trough the window, disappearing trough it just as she enters the room, noticing the medical cabinet was empty.

”Boys, did you give a large stash of medical supplies to someone earlier?”

”Ah! Shiro, one of our common customers, came by to pick something, is he not there?”

The pale figure doesn’t bother to listen her answer and just rushes off, trying to get as far away from the shop as he could.

Shit, out of all the days Nel had to come by _today!_

If he’d known he’d waited a bit longer.

Shiro stops to catch his breath for a bit; with the shitty air quality in this place, even someone in as good of a shape as he was would get exhausted pretty soon.

His heartbeat thundering in his ears, Shiro failed to sense the danger heading his way, up until he’s shoved against a wall with a _firm_ grip around his throat, achingly familiar blue eyes boring into his skull.

 

 

”You got a **_lot of fuckin’ nerve_** stealin’ from  my sis.”

 

 

The bag drops from his grasp, all the medical supplies strewn about to the ground.

His golden eyes were wide, and Shiro brings his pale hands up to grasp the tan arm currently holding him up reflexively.

 

_”G-Grimm...”_

 

**”Don’t fucking call me that!”**

 

The blunet spats in his face, his grasp tightening enough to make Shiro gag.

Nel had been bad already, _why was Grimmjow here?_

”I _told ya_ to **leave** my fuckin’ city and _**never come back,**_ why the fuck are you still _here?!”_

Shiro coughs and manages to push the arm off, kicking Grimmjow back and grasping what he could, sprinting away.

He didn’t get very far as the blunet dashes after him, effectively knocking him to the ground and forcing his face against the dirty backstreet surface.

The grip on his hair was painful, making his eyes water.

 

”Quit tryin’ ta run, you know you _can’t._   **Not from me.** "

 

Grimmjow growls lowly at him, voice vibrating with silent fury. Shiro barely manages to contain the slight squeak that threatened to escape his throat.

 

"Now, give ’em back to Nel before I bust your skull open.”

 

A low hiss reaches his ear, and Shiro could just feel how much Grimmjow was holding himself back from beating him to a bloody puddle. He could put up a fight if he wanted to, but the thing was, this was one of those rare cases Shiro really _didn’t want to._

He’d hurt Grimm enough.

”T’s not fer me, my brother....”

He manages to cough out, and moment later, the weight leaves his back, but he’s yanked up from his hair, thrown against a wall again.

”That ginger bastard that had the gall to mention your name to me? What? Did you get _him_ hurt already as well with your bullshit?”

Grimmjow mocks him with a sneer, now holding onto the bag Shiro had had with a firm grip. He looked about ready to throw it at his face with force.

The pale figure glanced aside, wondering if he should just try to run for it. He needed the medicine though.

A hand grasps his throat again, forcing his gaze back to the furious blunet.

An angry grin had spread across his face, and it was probably the most terrifying thing Shiro knew about.

”I should just fuckin’ kill you. Lyin’, stealin’, manipulative little ** _bastard!_** ”

_”I was not...!”_

Grimmjow won’t let him finish, just throws the albino aside, kicking his bag at him as well.

 

” ** _Fuck off._ ** Don’t come near Nel’s place ever again or I WILL shoot you on sight.”

 

The blunet snarls at him before turning on his heels and marching off.

Shiro looks after him for a long while, part of him wanting to sprint after the man to try and explain himself again, but... it was clear Grimmjow wouldn’t be ready to listen.

He gathers his stuff and bites his lip hard, then just dashes away from the scene, a heavy wight landing on his mind.

 

 

 

When Ichigo woke up again, Shiro was back, holding a pill and a water bottle for him.

After a moment of suspicious hesitation, Ichigo accept the offered medicine, downing it and then noticing the small scraps and bruises on Shiro.

”What happened?”

The albino shakes his head, mouth in a tight line.

He was clearly highly upset right now, but didn’t want to talk about it as usual. Instead, the pale figure sits down beside Ichigo, brushing trough his hair with a sigh.

”So...how’s pops? Karin n’ Yuzu?”

”Well...dad is as goofy as ever. He wasn’t too worried when you left, though he’s generally like that towards us.”

Ichigo shrugs a small smile dancing on his lips.

”Karin doesn’t admit it, but she misses you; she often hangs out in your room.”

Shiro says nothing, but Ichigo could tell his breathing was getting a little shaky.

”Yuzu, well...she’s worried. They wanted dad to ask the police to go look for you, but since you’re already twenty, there isn’t much they could do given you left voluntarily.”

Shiro bites his lip again and looks aside, feeling extremely guilty. Yuzu was a sweet kid, and while he sometimes scared her with his temper, she still loved him as much as she did Ichi.

”Shiro...I know you want to find out what happened to mum, but...”

Ichigo pauses and swallow down, licking his lips.

”You’re hurting a _lot_ of people with this you know? Not just Yuzu and Karin. Your **friends** are also worried. Ginjo almost joined me on this trip to Hueco Mundo. The only reason he couldn’t was because the dumbass broke his leg the day before I headed out.”

Shiro still remains quiet, keeping his head turned away. His entire body was tense.

”Riruka was looking forward to your date.”

Shiro huffs out suddenly, and as he turns his head to look at Ichigo his face was twisted into the most horrifying expression Ichigo had seen from him; it was a mixture of some sort of sardonic grin and pained hysteria, like he was in so much emotional pain that he couldn’t stop but _laugh._

And so he did.

The manic cackle was so freaky that Ichigo actually backs away for a bit, watching Shiro snicker away loudly, until he bent forward, clutching his stomach with a wheeze.

 _What the hell had happened_ to Shiro during the past eight months?

He’d never seen his twin like _this._ Hysteric, almost.

Eventually, he dared to inch closer again, and as he places a gentle hand on Shiro’s back, it seems his brother finally breaks, as bits of water started dropping to the floor.

”I....I fucked up Ichi. I fucked up _real_ bad.”

He finally admits quietly, his entire body shaking.

As Ichigo lets out a questioning noise, Shiro pushes himself up and proceeds to clutch hug his brother, hiding his face against Ichigo’s shoulder.

Just like when they were kids. Shiro rarely got upset to the point of crying, but whenever he did, he’d do this.

With a sigh, Ichigo gently wraps his arms around his twin, waiting for him to calm down.

It was weird in a way for Shiro; he’d held it together so well for the past months, but now that Ichigo was here...he felt like he was **finally** allowed to break down.

”So....can you tell me what happened? Why did mentioning Riruka trigger this?”

Shiro shakes his head with a watery snort.

”Ain’t Riruka. Only agreed ta go so she’d shut the fuck up.”

”I know.” Ichigo chuckles; Shiro never really liked Riruka that much.

He did not _hate_ her by any means, but he was never attracted to her, and her obvious crush had been awkward and annoying for Shiro.

”I....”

Before Shiro could explain anything however, they hear footsteps from outside, and moments later Gin appears on the doorway, surprised to find them the way they were.

”My, what happened here?”

Shiro quickly gathers himself and shakes his head, glaring at Gin.

”None of yer business.”

Gin hums, then shrugs, holding a large bag.

”Got your message; arranging a ride will take a bit, so I decided to bring you some supplies to take care of ya brother in the meanwhile.”

Shiro blinks then rushes to check trough the bag, his previously shaken state replaced by triumph: Gin had finally found the required parts for fixing the generator downstairs. There were also more food and medical supplies.

”I can bring ya some more later on, but at least ya should be able ta start ta generator with that, hmm?”

”Yeah, thanks Gin.”

Shiro flashes him a smirk and Gin holds his cheek in a mock cutesy schoolgirl look, telling the albino he was making him blush. It was such a weird and obvious show that Ichigo just sort of stared at the man speechless.

”Ah hello to you too Ichi! I hope ya feel better now.”

Gin waves at him, and Ichigo just shrugs, not knowing what to say.

 

 

The ginger watched as the silver haired man made some tea on the now working kitchen of the apartment, after Shiro had gone and fixed a generator that was apparently downstairs.

”The electricity net in this city isn’t that great so ah, lot of houses have their own generators.”

Gin explains to him while making the tea, chatting away casually. It was so bizarre, given Ichigo didn’t really know the man. He was clearly older than Shiro and him, so in that sense he was even weirder friend pick for the albino. Moments later, Gin brings him a cup and Ichigo accepts it after a moment of hesitation.

Shiro had gone outside again, apparently Gin had left few more food packages somewhere for Shiro to go and get.

He had to trust Gin a lot to leave him alone with Ichigo.

”So uh...how did you and Shiro meet? You don’t seem like his typical friendship choice.”

Gin snickers a bit and sips his tea, that same faint smile constantly present on his face. It was a bit creepy.

”Oh, he was running away from buncha o’ troublemakers an’ I helped ta hide ’im. Dun like Patros and his gang either you see.”

Ah.

”Still...Shiro doesn’t trust people easily.”

Ichigo points out, gaining a hum from the man who sips his tea again.

”No he don’t; took me a while to get that lil’ rascal to trust me, but it’s honestly all good and dandy. He woulda not survive here that well without my help - and I’m not sayin’ that to diss his skill, I just know how this place is.”

Ichigo didn’t know how to respond, so he just shrugs, drinking the tea. It _did_ actually help his wooziness a bit.

”Especially after he went and angered the _lion_ of this den. My my that wasn’t wise.”

Ichigo looks at Gin questioningly, and the man gives him another one of those creepy smiles, sipping his tea.

”My, I’m rather certain you’ve heard of Jeagerjaquez already. He’s quite infamous in this city.”

Ah. Speaking of that...

”Shiro.... _what did he do_ then? When I went to meet the guy he got really angry and threatened to kill me the second I mentioned Shiro to him.”

Gin goes quiet and examines him calmly for a moment, as if to evaluate whenever he should let the ginger in on the secrets, which honestly felt like _bullshit_ given he was Shiro’s _brother for fuck’s sake._

”Ah, do not misunderstand; I want to tell you, but it is such a sore issue to him that I feel Shiro should be the one to tell you. He’s your brother after all.”

Gin’s tone was again unusually serious, and Ichigo couldn’t exactly disagree with that logic.

”All I can tell you, is this; hell has no fury but a lover’s scorn.”

”...Isn’t the saying usually about a woman?”

Gin hums, an amused smirk dancing on his lips.

”Not in this case Ichi, not in _this_ case.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy. I gotta say writing that little chat in the end with Ichigo and Gin was my favorite part of this chapter.  
> Oh boy Berry, you're in for a ride.


	4. bitter truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo finally learns the gist of what his brother did now, and it's worse than he thought  
> Shiro is highly upset.

Shiro didn’t know exactly why he was doing this; like Ichigo had said it was _just_ a notebook.

Even if it was given to him by their mum, it was just an object.

The pale figure sighs and kicks a rock aside, leaning against the wall. He’d checked the place those two fuckers had brought Ichigo, the streets along the way, but there was no sign of the notebook. The bar was another option, but there was no way in hell he could sneak into Grimmjow’s territory without being noticed.

The blunet had not been kidding when he said he’d shoot Shiro the next time they saw each other.

He’d known the man long enough by now to tell when his threat was serious.

Still...he _wanted_ to find the notebook for Ichi.

The bar was nearby, he could see it from the alleyway he was hiding in. Right now, like during daytime in general, it was quiet, and a lack of motorcycle in front of it indicated Grimm wasn’t around either, luckily. Watching the place for a while, the back door opens and Shiro watches as the big guy - Nakeem wasn’t it? - steps out and dumps the trash to the huge dumpster, before going back inside.

After a moment of hesitation, Shiro sneaks there and cautiously opens it. It was a long shot, but he might as well try.

It was the best he could do with searching the bar. Most of the trash was typical; broken glass-bottles, used rags, food leftovers, etc. Digging trough it was dangerous, but he wanted to make sure they hadn’t just thrown the thing amongst the trash.

”You probably shouldn’t be here.”

Shiro nearly jumps, and the lid closes with a loud sound. He turns to stare at the old man, who was standing beside the door with his arms crossed.

”I....”

The man sighs, shaking his head with a tired expression.

”Please boy. For your own safety. If the young master sees you, he’ll kill you.”

”I know.”

Shiro huffs and jumps down from the dumpster, dusting himself off out of reflex.

”I’m just looking fer somethin’ my bro might’ve left here.”

He explains with a shrug, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Shawlong had always been the more understanding one out of Grimm’s henchmen who ran this place, and rather than cuss him out like the rest would, he usually just told Shiro to leave for his own safety.

”You mean _this?”_

Shiro looks up in surprise, as Shawlong holds up the ginger cat notebook.

”He forgot it on the counter when Grimmjow threw him out. I took it for safekeeping just in case, for I had a feeling you’d come here sooner or later.”

The old man sounds like he was scolding Shiro for fulfilling his expectations, but the albino says nothing, just takes the book and thanks the old man.

”Now, go. Grimmjow will be here shortly.”

Shiro just nods and dashes off, disappearing from sight just as he heard the familiar noise of a motorcycle heading their way.

 

 

 

 

Shiro eventually returned, dropping another bag of groceries to the floor; they’d been where Gin said they would be.

”You took your time hm?”

Gin comments while helping to put everything into the shelves. The pale figure says nothing, just throws the notebook to Ichigo, who looks at him surprised.

”Happened to come across it.” Shirosaki mumbles out with a shrug, then gestures Gin to join him as they head outside to discuss about something.

Ichigo sighs, then glances at the flip phone on the table.

He was tempted to call home and inform his family he’d found Shiro, but there was a chance they’d then head out here right away, and knowing what kind of place Hueco Mundo was... Perhaps he’d wait till they reached Rukongai.

His dad had mentioned there was some family of theirs living there anyway, maybe he’d find them and ask their help to convince Shiro to come home. The only problem has he had _zero_ clue how these relatives looked like, he only knew of one by the name.

After a while, Shiro comes back indoors alone and sighs, slumping beside Ichigo.

”Getting a ride without Patros’ gang hearing ’bout it is tricky, but Gin knows a person from outside of the city who can come pick us up.”

”Good I suppose.” Ichigo hums, examining his brother closely.

Gin’s words still rang in his ears.

What had he meant by _’lover’s scorn?’_

Surely even Shiro wouldn’t....

Ichigo frowns as he realizes that could very well be a possibility with his twin. Shiro liked living dangerously, who's to say his picks for a date weren't problematic just because he hadn't really dated before?

”Ichi, I know ya wanna ask stuff but...I’m kinda tired.” Shiro suddenly huffs out sounding mildly irritated, and as the ginger examines him more closely, he did seem strangely drained, though Ichigo had a hunch it wasn’t entirely physical. After a moment he nods.

”Okay.”

Almost instantly, Shiro slumps down to curl up on the couch like a cat again, closing his eyes with a sigh.

He always looked like curled up cat.

It was cute even now, when he was all grown up and had a fierce scowl on his face most of the time. Ichigo sighs and throws the blanket over him, letting Shiro sleep. Having nothing else to do, the ginger gets up carefully to examine the tiny apartment a bit more. He was still dizzy, but could at least walk somewhat.

Honestly, the fact he could walk indicated his injury probably looked worse than it was.

This whole ’going to hospital in Rukongai’ was just Shiro’s attempt to get him to leave.

Well, Ichigo was not going to leave without him, something he was going to make _very_ clear to his twin.

Aside from the food Gin had brought for them, the cabinets didn’t have much. Shiro’s living quarters were rather spartan to say the least. His bag was on the corner, and Ichigo shuddered as he saw the gun poking out from it.

He hoped to whatever gods Shiro had never actually _used_ it.

There was a small bathroom on the side, but given Shiro had to use a generator for electricity, Ichigo doubted the water would run.

That prompted a question where Shiro would bathe then? He did not look extremely filthy, indicating there was a place he could go and wash himself in.

After a moment of hesitation, Ichigo walked to the bag and examined it’s contents curiously.

There wasn’t much; he moved the gun as far away as he could, making sure the safety was on, and removed the pocket knife in there as well. He also had a charger for the phone as well as some tools and duck-tape. His wallet was there too but it was empty of cash, only really having some receipts in it as well as their family photos.

As he digs deeper however, Ichigo finds something else.

 _Another_ phone, this one was a touch-screen one like most phones nowadays.

It wasn’t Shiro’s original phone however, and looked more expensive.

Confused, Ichigo pulls it out carefully, examining the device. It looked like most other smart-phones, but definitely had that personal Shiro touch with black-and white shell, having this simple graphical flaming skull design at the back.

While it looked like any other phone, Ichigo recognized the model as it was the one Karin had wanted, but their dad didn’t buy because it was expensive.

 _Why_ did Shiro have something this expensive?

Why didn’t he use it as his _main_ phone?

Glancing at his brother, Ichigo noted he was still asleep. Unable to resist his curiosity, Ichigo turns it on, not surprised when the lock-screen background was also skull themed. He digs trough his memory to remember the pin-code and enters it.

For his luck, Shiro had not bothered to give this phone a different one, so he was in rather quickly.

However, he was taken aback when he saw _what_ the background photo on the screen was now.

It was a photo clearly taken by someone else as Shiro was fully visible in it.

What stunned Ichigo in it wasn’t Shiro but the man **beside** him.

It was _Jeagerjaquez,_ what’s more, his arm was draped around Shiro’s shoulders and he was currently nuzzling the pale white hair with a smirk.

Shiro looked both peeved and _happy_ about the affectionate gesture.

 

**_”What in the....”_ **

 

Ichigo quickly shuts up upon realizing he was raising his voice. He glances at Shiro who shifts in his sleep but doesn’t wake upm and breathes a sigh of relief. Ichigo turns his attention back to the phone and taps the gallery, searching trough it.

As he’d though, the background photo wasn’t the only one.

There were plenty more of them together, either taken by someone else or Shiro himself. There were also a few about Grimmjow only, often half-naked, and Ichigo quickly skipped past those images, feeling his face heat up slightly out of embarrassment. It almost felt like looking trough a couple’s private photos.

Well, not private per say, but still....

So was _this_ what Gin had meant?

If so...how...how did this happen in the _first_ place?

Also, what had happened to cause such a drastic shift in attitude? if they'd been somehow close earlier, why did Grimmjow seem to hate Shiro now?

As Ichigo scrolls trough the photos again, he focuses on Shiro’s face, and notes that in many of them, it was almost like he was trying not to smile.

It was weird, because Shiro rarely held back his grins. In these photos, it almost felt like he didn't want to show or admit how much he enjoyed being there for one reason or another.

 

”What are you....”

 

Ichigo freezes and looks up at Shiro, who’d cut himself off mid-sentence, now staring at the phone in Ichigo’s hand in shock. Then, he dashes up and snatches it from the ginger, backing away with a cat-like hiss and clutching the device to his chest.

 

_”What the hell are you doing, snooping into my shit?!”_

 

Ichigo remains stunned silent for a moment, then closes his jaw and pushes himself up slowly, leveling his brother with a stern look.

”Shiro, **what is the meaning of this?”**

Right now, the pale figure looked almost ready to bolt with the way his eyes flickered in search of an escape route, but of course he would not run. This wasn’t some random thug stumbling onto his painful secret, this was his _brother,_ his family.

”Shiro...”

After a moment of tense silence, Shiro deflates with a defeated sigh and walks back to the couch, gesturing Ichigo to sit back down beside him.

Eventually, he hands the phone back to Ichigo, who gazes at him with a worried frown.

”I.... _he_ got that for me, when my old one went missing.”

Shiro admits quietly, not looking at Ichigo in the eye.

”He...you mean _Jeagerjaquez?”_

Shiro nods, swallowing down a lump on his throat.

”I... _we_....back when I initially came here...”

Shiro huffs out frustrated, clearly struggling to find the right words. Ichigo remains silent, waiting patiently for him to explain himself.

”I’d heard that he used ta...that his fam used ta have dealings with the guy who orchestrated ma’s murder. I figured I could perhaps get some info outta him.”

”....Just when I thought this plan of your _couldn’t_ get more dangerous and crazier.”

Ichigo comment dryly, but then regrets his words upon seeing the pained grimace on Shiro’s face.

”Tell me ’bout it. I was expectin’ the current head to be some greasy haired pervy old man or something I could just smooth-talk into talkin’ and all....I didn’t expect it to be.... _him.”_

Ichigo lifts eyebrow at that, not liking the implications of what Shiro had thought he’d have to do.

”I managed ta make friends with him. He _liked_ how tough I was despite bein’ an outsider.”

”Those photos didn’t exactly look like _friendship._ I swear some of them felt a tad too private that makes me wonder why'd you let someone take them.”

Ichigo points out unable to stop himself, and Shiro bites his lip, staring at the floor intently.

”I didn’t _mean_ fer it to go that far, but....I...I...”

He huffs out again, burying his face into his hands as he started shaking again. As Ichigo processed what he’d learned so far, an alarming picture started to form in his head.

”.....Shiro, did you ........take _advantage_ of his feelings for you, is that what you’re getting at?”

**_”I didn’t mean to!”_ **

The volume of his voice was so loud that instead of a snarl it came out more like a _shriek,_ stunning them both into silence for a moment.

”I didn’t...mean to. Ichi I swear, you _know_ I woulda **not** do shit like that.”

The pale figure presses on, giving him an intense glare. The ginger just gazes at him, clearly waiting for an explanation.

”Look I...I didn’t _mean_ him to actually **fall in love** with me! I didn’t...I just meant to stay long enough to get the info I needed.”

It was clear that explanation wasn’t working.

Shiro sighs and slumps against the couch, resting his head against the back so he as facing the ceiling.

”I didn’t plan on any of that to happen. By the time I realized how much he trusted me, and how much I... _shit.”_

Shiro turns his head away from his brother and brings a hand up to rub his eyes that had started to prickle with tears.

”I...shit, Ichi, I didn’t _mean_ to hurt ’im. I just....by the time I realized what was happening, I was too scared ta tell ’im the truth, why I'd originally come ta meet 'im.”

”So...did he find out in a bad way or?”

The ginger asks, crossing his arms.

He was not judging per say, but what Shiro was saying looked pretty _bad_ right now. For a long moment, neither of them spoke, then Shiro finally pushed himself back up and turned to look at Ichigo with a wide, childlike sad expression. It was so bizarre to see that on his face nowadays that Ichigo couldn’t keep his scowl up, and just allowed his brother to crawl into his lap to have another supporting hug.

”He... yes, he found out. That I was lookin’ for dirt on that bastard who killed mum trough him. He saw me talkin’ wit’ Gin and he already got some sorta beef with ’im too, so....he put two an' two together and figured I'd been leading 'im on, or, that's how he took it.”

”Didn’t you try to explain him anything? I mean...”

Yes, it could look really bad, but Ichigo felt his brother could've likely explained himself away for the man. 

Shiro huffs out a sigh.

”I....maybe if it was somebody _else_ I might’ve gotten trough ta ’im, but Grimm’s been used before so I doubt I could _ever_ explain myself ta him. He dun like feelin' like he's been taken advantage of, and if that's what he feels you were doin' he's not likely ta listen to yer explanation or excuses.”

”I see...”

Ichigo mutters out after a moment of silence.

His brother sure knew how to attract trouble huh? This was beyond what he normally got into though. It had never been so... _personal,_ before.

”He musta think I was just usin’ him to get what I wanted like people before me...” the bitter chuckle leaving Shiro’s throat was devoid of any form of joy.

”....Did you?”

The pale arms tighten around Ichigo, and Shiro takes a moment to gather his bearings before replying.

”.............At first, I mean, I _can't_ deny what I was originally plannin'....But, but after a while I...I.... ** _shit, fuck,_** I really screwed up.”

Shiro curses and wipes his face to his sleeve, pushing himself back from Ichigo who was giving him that same scolding look he always did when Shiro got in trouble.

This time though...it was worse because it was mixed with disappointment and a bit of sadness. Ichi was always understanding with him and his temper, but he'd never been genuinely disappointed in him before.

”.....You should not have gone out in the first place. You could’ve avoided this.”

He was not scolding Shiro per say, just stating a fact.

_”I know.”_

Shiro mutters out and grasps the phone again, examining it in his hands with a surprising delicacy.

Shiro was _not_ known to treat his stuff carefully, the amount of times Isshin had to replace his phone was staggering.

Yet, this one was clearly in pristine condition.

Shiro actually took good care of this one.

”I know ya want me ta go home wit’ ya...but I **_can’t._** I’ve already fucked shit up so much. If I go back now I’m gonna feel like I’m a fucking piece of shit _failure_.”

Ichigo could hear the desperate sincerity in his voice.

He understood it, he _really did,_ but he was scared for Shiro’s life if he stayed.

So many people already seemed to hate him, and... he honestly understood what Gin had meant.

Having an enemy or a person you disliked hate you was one thing, that could be a given.

Having someone who _loved_ you or used to, to turn against you is on a league of its own.

”Shiro.....you’ll _die_ if you stay.”

Ichigo tells him with a level of finality to his voice, the kind of tone he used when he wanted to make it clear to Shiro something wasn’t negotiable.

Shiro gazes at him for a long moment, then sighs and nods.

”We’ll...we’ll hafta wait fer Gin’s ride to show up. Wit’ Patros’ gang searching the streets and Grimm openly wantin’ me dead....it’s too dangerous ta leave on our own.”

Ichigo didn’t have much to say to that.

 

 

That night, Shiro couldn’t sleep very well, tossing and turning on his mattress until he woke up, panting. With a quiet sigh, he brushes trough his white hair and gets up, careful to not wake up his brother. Picking up the smart phone, he sits back down to his mattress, opening it.

It ached, looking trough those pictures, but he couldn’t help himself; in many of them, he’d sort of forgotten what he’d been up to and just focused on the moment.

He’d been... _happy._

Shiro did not like letting people too close to him.

Even with his family the closest people to him had been their ma and Ichi.

She was gone now and he didn’t always tell Ichi everything, even if he might’ve thought so.

Perhaps one of the reasons he’d grown fond of the Jeagerjaquez heir was because they _reminded_ one another a lot.

He’d quickly learned Grimmjow didn’t trust people easily either; he only held unconditional trust towards his step-sister Nelliel, and the old man Shawlong who used to be his caretaker.

He’d somehow managed to get into that tight inner circle, all the while keeping a dire secret.

It was no wonder Grimm hated him _so much_ right now. Trust was hard to gain, and easily broken, and he’d pretty much shattered it to tiny pieces.

He switches to the text messages, reading the last exchange before that fateful day.

 

 

_”GTG out for a bit; Shawlong asked me ta bring somethin’ for the bar.”_

**_”T’s fuckin’ late. I know ya could pass off as a ghost babe, but c’mon ain’t this a bit pushing it?”_ **

_”Hardy har Grimm. I’ll come cuddle ya once I’m back bein’ an old fart’s errand boy.”_

**_”Oi, nobody calls ’im old fart but me, chalkface.”_ **

_”Love ya too, cat. ~ <3”_

 

 

Shiro couldn’t stop but smile, however the smile was bitter.

Just few hours after sending those, he’d been standing in the middle of an empty street, bruised and bleeding from his nose, the _worst_ fucking kind of pain aching on his chest.

He’d never admit it out loud to anyone, not even his ma’ had she been alive - bless her heart - but he hadn’t been able to stop crying until after coming in this place and just sitting there for couple of hours.

Reading these...it **_hurt._**

He probably deserved it, but still, it hurt.

 

”I _meant it_ ya know? When I wrote that....”

 

shiro mutters, closing the phone and curling up, hiding his face behind his arms and knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeahhh....Shiro done fucked up.  
> Namely, he should've been honest from the start, as he will eventually learn as this story progresses.


	5. scorned lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grimmjow learns, much to his dismay, that he might have to go back and talk to the chalk-faced traitor after all.  
> Ichigo's condition gets worse all of a sudden.

”Rumor has it he’s trying to regain influence around these parts.”

Grimmjow wasn’t really listening; he was still riled up from his run in with that _lying **bastard** ghost face_ from earlier.

He’d used a lot of his willpower to **_not_** beat him to a bloody mess right there and then.

Not only because it wasn’t worth it, but because as much as he hated admitting it, he would’ve regretted it later.

It’s kind of hard to just.... _stop_ caring after getting so close to someone.

Even if that someone was a manipulative, lying _shithead_ like Shiro Kurosaki.

”Grimmjow, you need to focus this is important.”

The blunet grumbles and turns his gaze back at the blond woman who’d dropped by today to inform him and Nelliel about alarming news. Tier Harribel was another powerful figure of Hueco Mundo, thought she worked more on the ’dayside’ of the city, being the Mayor, while Nel and Grimmjow’s family usually dealt with the underground.

”We cannot have him pick up more influence again out here. Last time he was the mayor our city was almost turned to ruin.”

”Yeah yeah I hear ya. What’s the point of worrying about that piece of shit? Doubt the folk want ’im back anyway.”

Harribel sighs, knowing this would be difficult; Grimmjow was never really interested in politics so to say, and according to Nelliel he’d had some .......highly personal negative encounter today, further souring his mood. The Jeagerjaquez heir had always been difficult, but Tier Harribel still kept feeling like he'd never been prepared enough just HOQ difficult he could be.

”They don’t have to. With how clever he is, he’ll be able to play all the cards into his hands if we don’t stop him.”

”The fuck ya want me ta do?”

The man asks with a shrug, leaning back on his chair and bringing his feet to the table. It was a rude gesture, but nothing Harribel wasn’t used to.

”Grimm, try to be more cooperative, Harribel wants to help us to make sure our home doesn’t get ruined again.” Nel tells him scolding, but the blunet just digs his ear, disinterested look on his face.

”I think it’s better if we discuss this for now Tia; I don’t think Grimmy is up to this right now.”

Nelliel finally admits with a sigh, and taking that as a sign, the blunet stands up and saunters off the room, hands in his pockets.

”Sometimes it is _hard_ to believe his father and your mother created such a powerful secret empire beneath the city surface.”

”Try to be understanding Tia; last few months have been... _hard._ ”

Nelliel tells her with a sigh, brushing trough her green hair with a sad look in her eyes.

”....That albino boy I presume?”

”Yes. He...was in our shop yesterday. For the medicine we give out to those who cannot afford it.”

”Bold. Especially given Grimmjow came there with you.”

”He did, he saw Shiro leaving and confronted him.”

Nelliel bites her lip and looks after her brother again with a concerned frown.

”I thought he was finally going to kill him.” She admits after a moment of silence, and Harribel lifts one blond eyebrow at her.

”You don’t sound like you’d want him to do it.”

”I _never_  enjoy seeing him kill even if sometimes he has no choice with how our world works, you know that Tia. It’s just...”

She looks up at her unsure.

”I feel this whole situation is just a giant mess of a misunderstanding. Shiro never really came off as manipulative to me. Rather...he just left things unsaid.”

”That _can_ be a form of manipulation too, Nel, you of all people should know this.”

Harribel reminds her with a gentle, sad smile, and the green haired woman nods, playing with her hair, mumbling that she was aware of it.

 

 

Grimmjow slumps to his couch, just sort of staring at the ceiling while smoking his cigarette.

He didn’t want to deal with any of this bullshit right now.

Not with Aizen’s apparent attempts to try and sneak back into Hueco Mundo, not Harribel’s boring speeches of how to deal with it, not the scolding from either woman.

He didn’t wanna deal with _Shiro_ either, but after that encounter his traitor of a mind _of course_ geared right back towards that bastard.

It had done that since the ginger had shown up.

He should’ve known.

He should’ve known the shithead was related to Shiro from the _second_ he’d deemed him cute and decided to humor his need to talk to him.

Blowing out final cloud of smoke, the blunet turns the cigarette off and rolls on his side, facing the back of the couch. When he’d seen the albino sprint away from the back of the shop, he’d just sort of....reacted.

He’d been running after him before even really knowing what he was doing. Seeing his face again...even after two months, it still brought a flurry of emotion in him.

He’d **always** had a bad temper, but when it came to Shiro it was to the point even HE was scared of it. The bastard had just... it was worse than anything before, because he'd trusted the lying vermin, trusted him enough to mention some very painful secrets even Nel didn't know about. 

Grimmjow was just glad he didn’t have a gun with him at that moment, or the Albino bastard would’ve been dead. he didn't want to spill blood near Nelliel's shop, it just felt wrong.

Eventually, he felt a presence near him.

He didn’t have to turn to know it was Nelliel.

She places a hand on his shoulder gently, just squeezing it, not trying to turn him around.

”I’m glad you didn’t actually hurt him.”

She tells him simply, before walking away, heading to whatever she was doing now.

Grimmjow almost wanted to snort; she was always happier if he didn’t spill blood, the woman was a true pacifist after all. Kind of a weird choice for someone that was part of an underground boss family. Then again, her ma had married into his family so she’d sorta been _dragged_ into the whole business.

With a sigh, he eventually pushes himself upright and rubs his eyes, knowing that lying there moping wasn’t gonna cheer up his mood. Besides, he was supposed to go to the bar tonight anyway, Shawlong wanted to speak to him about something. So, the man gets up and grabs the keys for his bike, casually yelling at Nel that he was going out, knowing she’d not hear him anyway.

 

 

 

Shawlong was already waiting for him at the bar.

As usual, once people saw him they tended to make themselves scarce from the spot he liked to sit in. Honestly, Grimmjow didn’t care either way but his family had a reputation. He had a reputation and the man didn’t bother correcting people. Slumping down on his usual table with the old man, he looks at his former babysitter with a lift eyebrow.

”Shiro was here a while back.”

Grimmjow actually manages to not react by flipping the goddamn table, and just leans closer, glaring at the old fart with the kind of stare that anyone else would’ve made a run for the hills for seeing it.

”Why the _fuck_ was that bastard here?!”

”He was looking for his brother’s notebook that the boy had forgotten here after you threw him out.”

”And you’re tellin’ me about this because...?”

”I...before I gave it back to him, I took a look into it. It seems his brother was looking into Aizen and his dealings.”

”Yeah _no shit;_ that bastard was digging info about him from _me._ He knew I hated talking about it, still he made me do it like the manipulative shithead he is.”

Shawlong sighs and remains quiet for a moment, likely deciding on how to proceed.

”It got me thinking... the fact you saw him with Gin as well back then. Perhaps Kurosaki has useful information for us, given the rumors about Aizen’s return.”

The blunet frowns, not following what his ex-caretaker was getting at.

”What I am saying, pushing personal feelings aside, Shiro Kurosaki is more useful to you alive than dead. The fact he seems to have a connection to Aizen’s right hand man - former if the rumors are again to be believed - could also prove helpful to Lady Harribel’s plight.”

”If yer proposing that I should take him back and pretend everything’s fine and dandy, you can shove this idea to where the sun don’t shine.”

Shawlong sighs but smiles a bit, _not_ surprised by the answer.

”No, I am not proposing that. Rather, I recommend we capture him and ask him about what he knows. Given his _brother_ is here, we can use that to our...”

**_”FUCK NO.”_ **

The force his hand slammed the table startles everyone nearby, and they glance at the two confused, up until Grimmjow’s fierce stare forces them to look away.

”Shiro’s one thing, but I ain’t gonna involve the ginger. He just came here to _look_ for that jackass, he’s got **nothin’** to do with this mess.”

Shawlong remains quiet for a long time; he was not surprised of this reaction either, not after Aizen had used Nel to blackmail him. That and he'd always has this code to him, ever since he was a kid; Grimmjow downright _refused_ to involve outsiders or innocent family members of somebody he had problems with. It was between him and whoever the poor fool was that got his ire attached to them.

However, with the situation at hand, he might not have a choice but to consider Shawlong's proposal.

”I doubt Shiro will come to you by himself. He’s _scared_ of you right now, and getting him to talk was never easy.”

Grimmjow sits back down with a grumble, knowing Shawlong had a point.

Still, he didn’t want to stoop so low.

It was **_disgusting._**

All the ginger wanted was to find his shitty brother, not get involved in the bullshit politics of this place.

The whole idea went against his principles, but...if Shawlong was right about Shiro knowing shit, he’d probably have to do something.

Going to find the chalkfaced bastard and just _talking_ to him...Grimmjow wasn’t sure if he **could** do it, given how his whole vision went red at the mere _glimpse_ of him.

The blunet sighs and brushes trough his hair, considering his options.

 

 

 

The next morning, Gin showed up early.

He made some tea to the brothers, noting that Ichigo was moving around rather easily.

”It seems ya head injury wasn’t that bad was it?”

”Yes, so it seems.” Ichigo hums, still unsure on what to think about the man.

”Good good. Now, Shiro, my contact will come and pick you two up at around midday from that old abandoned gas-station at the western end. She’ll drop ya to Rukongai hospital ta get ya brother checked just in case.”

”Thanks Gin. Who’s she?”

The man just gives Shiro a mysterious smirk, to which the albino just rolls his eyes after a moment. He was apparently used to this, whereas Ichigo was lightly alarmed.

”Are you not going to ask him who he’s talking about? How can you trust the person he asked help from?”

Shiro gives him an amused look, and the ginger suddenly had a hunch _he_ was the only one who didn’t know the person.

Ichigo lets out an annoyed groan, glaring at Shiro.

”Why do I always have to be the last one to know?”

”Dunno, I guess yer slow like that.”

Ichigo proceeds to promptly throw a pillow at his face, gaining a laugh from his pale twin. Gin watches them fool around like brothers usually do for a moment, then his eyes catch a glimpse of something outside and his already pale complexion turns even paler.

”Shi, **we have a problem.** ”

The albino stop trying to prevent his brother from rubbing a dusty pillow into his face, and turns to look at Gin confused.

The man just signs something for him simply, and Shiro’s golden eyes widen, as he kicks himself off the couch and rushes beside Gin, looking down the same direction the man was looking at. Ichigo watches confused as his brother starts shaking, and looks up at Gin confused and in panic.

_”How did he find me?!”_

”Dunno Shi, but we better go an’ hide before he gets here.”

”What’s going on?” Ichigo questions the two, who just turn around and hurry to try and pack up as much things as they could.

”It seems Jeagerjaquez has found Shi’s hiding place.” Gin explains to confused Ichigo, whose eyes widen in shock, and he turns to look at his panicking brother.

”Shit shit **shit!** I didn’t think he’d find me!”

Shiro mutters out over and over, stuffing things into his bag almost frantic. As he hears the footsteps get closer, the pale figure looks up at Gin in panic, who just gestures at him frantically.

”We gotta hide! We can’t get out on time Shi! That's the only way out an' he's already on the hallway!”

With those words, Shiro abandons his bag and instead grasps Ichigo, quickly dragging him towards the small closet the bedroom area had.

”Ya guys hide, I’ll deal wit’ ’im!”

Shiro tells the two, but Ichigo grasps his arm and throws him to the closet with Gin instead.

” **No.** He already hates your guts enough. I’ll just tell him you’re not here.”

”Ichi _ya can’t be..!”_

The ginger just slams the closet door on his face and walks back to the room, brushing trough his hair with a sigh. This was probably a crazy idea, but after what Shiro had told him, he did not want his brother facing the man alone, no way in hell.

The second he looks up, the ginger is face to face with the blue haired man, who was casually leaning against the doorframe, hands in his pockets.

Grimmjow’s expression was fairly neutral, but Ichigo could feel the chill he emitted.

”Huh, so he _wasn’t_ lying for once; someone  did beat ya up enough ta warrant painkillers.”

Ichigo remains quiet, frowning.

So _that_ was why Shiro had returned so shaken?

He’d ran into Grimmjow.

”...Yes. Our father is a doctor so we both have medical knowledge.”

The blunet says nothing to that, just paces around, examining the apartment rather calmly. Ichigo felt a bit like a prey being stalked by predator, and Grimmjow wasn’t even carrying a weapon, at least not a visible one.

”Shiro isn’t here. He told me to rest here until I was well enough to go back home.”

Grimmjow snorts and tilts his head towards him, giving him an amused, yet cold, smirk.

” _Quit_ tryna bullshit me, carrots. Wit’ the way he babbled about you at times there’s no way he’d fuckin’ do that.”

Ichigo frowns at the nickname, but says nothing, following Grimmjow’s every move as he stalked across the room, eventually stopping between Ichigo and the bedroom, where Gin and Shiro were hiding in the closet.

”What do you want? If you came here to kill Shiro, I’m afraid I won’t be telling you where he is.”

”Of _course_ ya won’t. That’d be a shitty thing for a brother to do.”

Grimmjow snorts, examining him quietly with half-lidded eyelids.

Ichigo had dealt plenty of thugs in his life; he and Shiro had ended up in several fights during their childhood. Grimmjow was no ordinary thug. Ichigo was actually lightly scared now, and understood why Shiro had been as well. The aura he reeked spoke of a killer; someone who wasn’t afraid to spill blood and held no moral obligation to it. He was not some backstreet punk that could be scared off by lunching them in the nose once.

Why had Shiro _ever_ thought of doing this? Of putting himself in a situation where he could piss this guy off?

”I need the shit he’s gathered so far. I know he was diggin’ info on Aizen, and apparently it’s something we might need.”

”I don’t know where he’d keep that.”

Ichigo replies with a frown; that name sounded familiar....

Grimmjow snorts amused and paces closer, forcing the ginger to back away until his back hit the kitchen table.

The blunet’s hands were still in his pockets, but the wicked grin on his face was threatening enough without any visible weapons.

”Of course ya don’t, dumbass. Doubt he'd bother tellin' ya where his stash is. Just like I doubt he's actually not here.”

Grimmjow tells him with a mocking tone.

"I told you, Shiro isn't here!"

A hand grasps his throat, a sneer already ready to leave Grimmjow's lips. The man clearly didn't buy his bluff at all.

Suddenly, there was a sound behind them, and both turn to look at Shiro, who'd scrambled away from his hiding place and was now looking at them both with widened eyes.

**_”You.”_ **

The amount of venom in Grimmjow’s tone made Shiro flinch, but he straightens himself and glares at the blunet with the best angry expression he could muster.

”D’ ya really hate my guts so much you go against yer _own_ principle?”

The blunet snorts and lets Ichigo free from the invisible vice as he steps back, marching towards Shiro and basically trapping him between the wall and himself, one arm held above Shiro’s head.

”Don’t fool yourself bastard; you ain’t **that** special that I’d do that.”

Shiro just glares up at him, but his gaze was more defiant than aggressive. Ichigo takes a step forward to help his brother, but Gin peeks from the bedroom door and shakes his head frantic, telling Ichigo to stay out of it for his own sake probably.

”Why...how did you find me?”

Grimmjow lets out a low, cold chuckle and uses his free hand to grasp Shiro’s throat, though this time he didn’t squeeze that hard.

”I fuckin’ _own_ half of this goddamn city. _Including_ most stuff around here. Finding someone like you ain’t hard.”

Shiro’s gaze falters a bit as he realizes just how bad his hiding spot actually was, but he quickly steels himself back up, glaring at the piercing blue eyes that once had looked down at him with a much different emotion.

”Well you found me, what do you want?”

Grimmjow goes quiet for a while as he examines the albino he’d trapped, and Shiro could imagine there was a lot of things he wanted to do, most involving him dying some gruesome, brutal death.

”You’ve been lookin’ into Aizen. I know you got some dirt from Gin. Give it to me.”

”Why should I?”

The hand now squeezes, cutting off his air supply briefly.

Ichigo yelps and moves to step in, but Shiro lifts his hand, stopping the ginger on his tracks.

Golden eyes never swayed away from blue.

”Because you can’t do _shit_ with it. Yer just some brat who bit off more he can chew.”

Grimmjow tells him coldly, letting go of his throat but still standing here, glaring down at Shiro. ”You gotta be better negotiator than that.” Shiro remarks with a hiss, trying to shove the blunet away, but the man didn’t budge even an inch.

Ichigo could tell his brother’s resolve was wavering badly, but for some reason he didn’t want Ichigo to aid him, and the ginger hated how his body sort of automatically respected Shiro’s will. He’d always stayed out of Shiro’s more personal fights, like this one. Though it was more of a mental than physical battle so far.

That being said however...

”Shiro, give them to him.”

Golden eyes snap at him in surprise and anger, which wasn’t surprising.

Ichigo presses on however, before he can protest.

”He’s right; even if you do locate this Aizen or whatever you were going for, there isn’t much you can do. You either get killed or arrested. From what I gathered he has more influence and can do much more.”

”Ya can’t be seriously siding with _him!_ ”

” _I have to!_ You’ll get fucking _killed_ if you keep this...!”

Ichigo cuts himself off mid-sentence as a sudden, sharp sting of pain hits him, and he collapses to the floor, holding his head.

_**”Ichi!”** _

Grimmjow actually allows him to sprint by the ginger’s side, watching with a frown as the albino checks on him frantic.

”Shit, maybe there’s something poking yer brain after all?”

Shiro muses out in silent panic, checking the wound, knowing full well if that was the case he probably wouldn’t be able to see it from the outside.

”Hang in there Ichi, we’ll figure this out.”

Ichigo couldn’t really respond, his ears were ringing and his migraine was pretty bad.

”Fuck, maybe it’s just concussion? I don’t, I need to...”

 

**”Shi.”**

 

The surprisingly calm tone makes the pale figure look up at the blunet, who was examining Ichigo with a deep frown. Earlier anger was all but gone from his face now, which was... bizarre to say the least. Shiro was so used to see those blue eyes look at him with such utter hatred, that seeing anything else there felt foreign at this point.

”He’s gonna need _better_ medical attention than first-aid.”

”I _fucking know!_ We were gonna leave to Rukongai today, then you showed up and, and...”

Grimmjow looks aside for a moment, as if struggling with himself about something.

Eventually however, he sighs and turns his gaze back to Shiro.

”Give me the Intel you got. We’ll bring ’im to the manor. Nel knows folk that can help him quicker than goin’ to the Rukongai Hospital.”

For a moment the pale figure just stares at him in shock.

" **Why the fuck would you care?** Why should I trust you!?" His voice was pathetically high right now, clear sign of his panic.

The blunet lets out a long suffering sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Shi, _I'm_ a big brother too. Did ya forget that amidst all your bullshit lying?" Grimmjow's tone was biting. He might hate the pale faced twin for his lies, but honestly, he had nothing against the ginger - he barely knew him - and he sympathized with the frantic worry Shiro was going trough.

He hated Shiro's guts for a reason, but he was not gonna make his _brother_ pay for _his_ crime.

”....I...they’re on my bag. I stuffed everythin' there when....when we saw you were coming....”

The albino finally manages to stutter out, and Grimmjow walks to it, checking trough the back-bag.

After he as satisfied with what he saw, the man stands up holding onto it and gestures him to follow.

Shiro attempts to get up holding Ichigo, but his panic was making it hard for him to stand.

Annoyed, Grimmjow marches there and grabs the ginger into his hold with ease, shoving the bag into Shiro’s arms.

It was anxiety-inducing, seeing how much of a rag doll Ichigo was right now, even if Grimmjow was being mindful of his injury.

” **Don’t** try to sprint off; I got your brother.”

The threat wasn’t probably genuine this time around, knowing Grimmjow’s personal ethics, but in his state, Shiro didn’t question it and just follows the man down, clutching the bag on his chest

. He glances behind at Gin who waves back at him, unsure frown on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.  
> going into your scorned ex' house is gonna be awkward.   
> this is the last chapter I've written so far. As said, I'm trying to keep this fic more compact, so stuff happens faster than it usually would.   
> pacing a story is difficult, meh.


	6. patient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro tries to navigate staying in Jeagerjaquez manor when almost everybody hates his guts.  
> Everybody but his brother, and maybe Nel

Shiro was anxious, not the least because he was currently in a place he _never_ thought he’d go back in; Grimmjow’s house was like he remembered, but the atmosphere was different.

Everyone there aimed a slight level of hostility towards him, except maybe Nelliel, she’d just frowned concerned upon seeing them, before joining the doctors who'd arrived to treat Ichigo. None asked questions, likely having shown up to the manor to patch up an unknown person countless times before.

Di Roy had nearly rushed to beat him up, but Grimmjow had given the man the kind of stare that would even make a grouchy bear go back into it’s cave to hide. He did not want to deal with any bullshit from the five right now, he was already on a bad mood.

Currently, Shiro was sitting in front of the medical bay door - yes Grimmjow’s house had it’s own medic bay for some reason, apparently his pops hadn’t trusted hospitals - and just waiting, anxiously, to hear what was going on.

He’d been left alone, sitting on that empty hallway.

Grimmjow had probably ordered his underlings to not enter there so they wouldn’t outright put him in need of a hospital as well. The blunet himself was holding back a lot too, somehow, even though he had more of a reason to fuck Shiro up than his underlings ever did.

Shiro still felt his intense glare on his back the entire time they’d ushered Ichi to the medic bay, and even after he’d slumped to sit right there on the floor, curled up like a pathetic, scared little kid.

Normally, he didn’t show his weakness this easily, but last months had been extremely hard on him, and after Ichi got hurt and he got worse...Shiro just didn’t have the _energy_ to try and hide how he felt right now.

So, he just sat there, curled up, hood tucked over his head.

After a long while, the pale figure could sense someone stop nearby him, and he could tell from the aura that it was Grimmjow. The silence around them stretched, up until Shiro finally found enough courage to look up at him. The blue eyes were hardened, cold towards him as usual, but at least he wasn’t putting out a murderous aura anymore.

”.....Quit sittin’ around like a pathetic sack of shit. They’ll take care of ’im.”

”I wanna stay until I know he’s okay. _You’d_ do the same for Nel.”

Grimmjow just grabs his arm and tugs him forcefully on his feet, making the golden eyes look up to him wildly. Shiro’s hand was curled up to a fist out of a defensive reflex, but he holds himself back, knowing if he hit Grimmjow, he’d just end up making everything worse.

”He ain’t gonna be happy with you if he finds out you just moped here like a little kid. 'Sides once the doors open, it’s gonna hit you in the fuckin’ _face_ if you sit there.”

Shiro pauses and glances at the door, realizing that Grimmjow was right; he had been sitting behind the door technically, so once it would open, he'd get a facefull of pain inflicted onto him.

_Still..._

He yanks himself free from Grimmjow’s hold and walks to the other side of the corridor, slumping down to sit opposite to the door.

”You hafta **drag** me away if you want me to leave.”

Shiro declares defiantly, gaining a sharp look from the blunet.

”Shi, ya know I **could,** _easily_ , if I wanted to.”

He could, but Shiro sensed the man wasn’t keen on getting violent right now.

”If I can’t call you Grimm anymore, stop callin’ me Shi in turn.”

The pale figure tells him solemnly, gaining a vicious, low laugh, and the next second, a hand grasped his throat again, as Grimmjow glared down at him with the previous murdery vibes he’d been lacking momentarily.

”This is MY house you little **_bitch._** I call you whatever the fuck I want.”

Shiro doesn’t bother arguing, just stares back at him wordlessly. After a moment of tense silence, Grimmjow lets go of him with a huff, marching off.

”Once yer brother is better, you two better fuck off from my sight.”

With that, he closes the door to the medical bay corridor behind him. Shiro just stares at the door in front of him, waiting for it to open anxiously.

 

 

 

 

”Can’t believe you allowed that shithead back here boss.”

The redhead big guy comments, shooting dirty looks towards the medic bay area door. They were all currently sitting at the bar of the house, having shut to shop and come by instantly once they’d heard the ' _little chalky incubus'_ was back, as Yltfordt had creatively named him.

”Yeah we shoulda have just shanked him instantly, the fucker don’t _deserve_ ta be here.”

Grimmjow listens to his underlings chat and plot murder for a while, up until he finally runs out of patience. Slamming his fist against the counter, he gains the attention of all five, with Shawlong being the only one not spooked by the sudden noise.

”Last time I checked I’M the fuckin’ owner here, so what I bring in this place is up ta me, not you morons. **_Shut the fuck up_** before I shank one of YOU.”

Wisely, Di Roy and Edrad both went quiet, sweating nervously as they avoided his gaze. Yltfordt seemed rather amused by their plight, but coughed and turned his visage neutral again as the blue eyes landed on him, daring him to laugh.

”Young master is correct; it is not up to us to decide on this matter.” Shawlong comments diplomatically as always, gaining an eye roll from Grimmjow, who gulps down his whiskey at one go.

Honestly, he wanted to tell all of them to fuck off and go back to work, but he understood why they were there. He’d _really_ blown his fuse back then, and all five likely worried for his safety or something, thinking Shiro would try some sort of shitty ass revenge plot or something. Grimmjow knew better than that; the sad, kicked puppy currently sitting in front of the operating room door was no malicious mastermind.

He just wanted to make sure his twin would survive.

Honestly, seeing Shiro like that pissed him off.

It was _easier_ to hate on somebody who was openly malicious, like Aizen.

The pale bastard was nothing like that; right now he was practically wearing his heart on his sleeve, and it was so damn **hard** not to pity him, even though he didn’t deserve any sort of sympathy from him.

Sensing his mood was turning even worse, Shawlong coughs and recommend everyone to go and give him some space. The group did not need to be told twice and they quickly slipped away from the scene, with the old man giving Grimmjow one last concerned glance before leaving after his younger co-workers. The blunet sighs and rubs his eyes, his head honestly a mess right now.

There were hundreds of thoughts and emotions running trough his brain, many of which wanted to find several different ways on how to maul the pale fucker. Amongst the furious, vengeful and bitter thoughts however, was a small voice that wanted to go and comfort the poor bastard over his twin brother’s situation.

The fact his brain _still_ thought Shiro was forgivable even a tiny amount pissed him off.

Pouring himself another glass, Grimmjow gulps it all down at one go again, hoping the buzz of alcohol would shut out most of the noise in his head.

 

 

 

 

The first thing Ichigo noted when he began to wake up was the dull throbbing of his head.

It did not feel like intense pain anymore, but definitely like something was wrapped around his head tightly.

There was a faint beeping sound nearby, which reminded him of a heart monitor.

Was he in a hospital?

Slowly, the clouds in his brain melted away, and he recalled what had happened before he’d passed out. Grimmjow had shown up, then Shiro had popped out of hiding, they’d argued, and then....then he’d been hit with intense pain and blacked out. After another minute or two trying to get trough the murkiness of his brain, Ichigo finally manages to crack his eyes open. Despite the rather dim light of the room, it still hurt his eyes a bit.

Once his vision adjusts to the brightness however, Ichigo manages to look around.

The place did have hospital equipment in it, but it was too quiet for it to be an actual hospital. A shift nearby him catches Ichigo’s attention, and he soon spots a familiar pale figure, curled up and asleep on a small armchair beside his bed. Shiro had bags under his eyes, indicated he’d stayed awake for a long time. Ichigo sighs slowly, a small smile appearing on his lips.

 _Of course_ Shiro would’ve stayed awake.

Turning his head slowly back towards the ceiling, Ichigo took further inventory on the place. Given the curtains and the sofa Shiro was sleeping on, this seemed more like a private room than a typical hospital one. The door opens slowly all of a sudden, and a green haired woman steps in, closing the door behind her quietly to not wake the sleeping pale figure up.

”Ah, you’re awake finally I see.” The woman greets him with a smile.

Ichigo had _no clue_ who she was, but something about her made Ichigo like her instantly.

”Uhm...”

”Ah, right; my name is Nelliel, but you may call me Nel. I’m Grimmjow’s, I suppose the right term is little sister, even if I tend to be the responsible one of us two.”

Oh, Ichigo’s smile shrank a bit upon hearing that, but she just giggles quietly, giving him an amused smirk.

”We’re step-siblings to be exact, and even if we weren’t, Grimm and I are pretty different. So don't worry, I'm not likely to throw you out of the window or whatever you'd assume Grimm would do.”

”Ah.” Ichigo didn’t know what else to say.

Moments later, Shiro stirred as well, shifting and stretching a bit, then flinching and rubbing his neck, as the posture had not been the best to sleep in. Once he spots Ichigo was awake, all of his discomfort is melted away and he nearly leaps beside him, grasing Ichigo’s hand with widened eyes.

” _Ichi!_ Ya alright?”

”Yeah, please don’t yell my head still hurts.”

”Shit, m’sorry.”

Shiro mumbles out, his eyes turning blurry with relieved tears. He must’ve been really on the edge, and Ichigo almost felt bad, even if this wasn’t really his own fault per say.

”You got lucky; there was a chip of skull pressing onto your brain. Any deeper and it could’ve caused permanent damage.”

Shiro only now seems to realize Nelliel was there, and looks up at her with an unsure expression on his face. Finally, he seems to find the words to say.

”Thank you Nel. Fer doin’ this. I know ya dun exactly like me after what...”

Nel holds her hand up with a serious frown on her face, silencing Shiro.

”While I _am_ rather angry at you for basically lying to my brother and hurting him, I cannot stop but feel he might’ve ......overreacted somewhat. I _don’t_ blame him for it, but...”

she glances at Ichigo, then back at Shiro.

”I feel he should’ve given you a chance to talk before blowing off on your face like that.”

The pale figure says nothing to that, clearly at a loss of words after hearing her thoughts on the matter. Ichigo had a feeling Shiro had thought **everybody** in this place just hated him.

”Well, what is done is done. You better take it easy for a couple of days.”

The woman tells Ichigo who just nods lightly, still gazing at Shiro a bit concerned. The pale twin just sighs and plops his forehead against the bed, deflating like a balloon.

”...I suppose I should bring you something to eat; it’s been over a day now.”

Ichigo’s eyes widen as he hears that, and he looks at Shiro with a whole new level of brotherly worry and anger, because **_what the fuck Shiro?_**

_”He hasn’t eaten for a day?!”_

Ichigo flinches, noting that raising his voice was still a **bad** idea.

The green haired woman gives him a scolding look, then nods.

”He was too afraid to leave this wing after Grimm’s henchmen showed up.”

Ichigo frowns at her, feeling a protective streak of his come into effect.

”If they hurt Shiro, I’ll _personally_ kick their asses, and I **don’t** care if I die trying.”

Nelliel laughs a bit at that, not a mocking but genuine warm laugh.

”I can believe that; don’t worry though, Grimm doesn’t allow bloodshed in his house.”

Honestly, that didn’t reassure Ichigo much, but it was probably the best he could get right now. With a sigh he leans his head back to the pillow, hand reaching out subconsciously to mingle and play with the white locks. It seemed to ease Shiro’s mind a bit as he relaxed under Ichigo’s touch, sort of like a cat enjoying being petted. Their ma had often done this when Shiro was upset, and after she’d perished, Ichigo had taken on the habit.

Nelliel watches the two brothers for a moment, then sighs and turns to leave the room, picking Shiro - and maybe Ichigo - something to eat.

 

 

 

When Shiro finally regained consciousness, Ichigo had fallen asleep again.

There was a tray of food on the nightstand beside him, probably brought there by Nelliel. It had enough food for two, but Shiro didn’t feel like eating despite the loud growl of his stomach. With a sigh, he gently shakes his brother awake, simply gesturing to the food beside them.

”I....Dunno if I can get anything down yet to be honest.”

Ichigo admits after making a face, and Shiro rolls his eyes, handing him the cup of water.

”At least drink. Yer been out fer over a day.”

Somehow, the ginger manages to get the liquid down despite his slight nausea, and he then tells Shiro to eat himself. The pale figure could tell from his expression that someone -probably Nelliel - had gone and told him Shiro hadn’t eaten the whole time he’d waited Ichigo to wake up.

”M’fine.”

”No you are not; I can tell you’re dehydrated, and your body is shaking. Shiro you gotta eat.”

Ichigo tells him scolding, but the pale figure just crosses his arms with a pout, refusing to touch the food.

_”Shiro...”_

The ginger lets out along suffering sigh; Shiro’s stubbornness was a good thing in some cases, but when it endangered his health, Ichigo kind of wanted to smack him for it.

Right now he was too weak to do so though.

”Look, I’ll...I’ll eat later ’kay? I wanna make sure ya can do it first.”

”Shiro, that can take a while. Stop torturing yourself.”

**”M’not!”**

Ichigo just gives him a long look, informing his twin wordlessly that he knew Shiro was bullshitting him. The golden eyes stare back defiantly, clearly not wanting to budge an inch in this matter. The stare off continued for a while, up until Ichigo began to feel dizzy again, and he closes his eyes, making a face.

”Ichi?”

The worried tone as back, and the ginger manages to smile.

”Still a bit woozy, don’t worry. I’m gonna need...another nap I guess.”

He cracks one eye open, giving Shiro a pointed look.

”You _better_ have eaten something once I wake up, or I’ll smack you with that goddamn tray.”

”Yeah yeah like ya got ta strength ta so so.”

Shiro manages to smirk at him, watching as Ichigo closes his eyes and eventually falls back asleep again. Ichigo at least didn’t seem to be in pain too much anymore, the painkillers he was given had to be some good stuff. Shiro hears his stomach rumble again, but ignores it, just curling up and clutching his belly, trying to ignore the hunger. He did not want to eat until he was absolutely certain Ichi would be okay.

Yeah it _was_ irrational and stupid, but...his brain was being highly irrational in general right now due to the situation.

He was in the house of a man whom he’d hurt and who wanted him _dead_ probably, hiding in his medic bay because he was too damn _scared_ to go outside.

It was laughable, especially given that Shiro could likely take on any of Grimmjow’s goons if he **really** wanted to.

He’d brawled with Di Roy and Edrad before, wan both fights.

However, back then they had not been out for his blood, those had been friendly matches.

Then there was **_Grimmjow._**

They’d had fights like that too at times, but...Shiro could tell the blunet had held back during them.

While his strength did match Grimmjow pretty well, the man was older and more experienced, having lived a rough life from childhood. He’d had to learn to defend himself from early age due to the bullshit his dad got into, as he’d once described Shiro. Sure, the albino had gotten into a lot of fights as a kid too, but he’d still lived in a relatively safe place, had a safe childhood and all.

He’d never been held at gunpoint as a kid, forced to charge at the guy to pry the gun off them and pretty much literally _claw their eyes out_ until there was blood all over.

Grimmjow had had to do that. He'd _told_ Shiro about it, actually giving him a bit of a nightmare from the story.

Between the two, while Shiro was strong, agile and quick-witted, he was no match for Grimm on the long run.

That was another reason he’d been too scared to tell the truth, why he'd originally gotten close to Grimmjow.

He’d been convinced Grimm would kill him instantly if he found out. Shiro lets out a bitter chuckle; the irony was, _**not**_ telling him had almost had the exact result he’d wanted to avoid by keeping quiet. It was such bullshit yet so typical of his luck that all he could do was laugh manically about it. He did not laugh out loud now though, not wanting to wake his brother up.

After a long while, the hunger pains became too much however, and Shiro caved in, half-devouring the sandwich and the soup Nel had left there.

It had gotten cold but he didn’t care.

By the time he was done, Shiro realized much to his shame he’d actually eaten _everything,_ including the portion meant for Ichi.

Glancing around nervously, Shiro considered his options.

Sure Ichi would be happy to see he’d eaten, but he was not supposed to eat everything like a gluttonous pig.

It was _again_ irrational somewhat, but he didn’t want Ichi to see he’d munched on everything. he already felt like a piece of shit and somehow the thought of him having eaten Ichi's portion made him feel even worse. Sure, Ichigo would not get mad obviously, but his mind was being crazy right now.

The pale figure had no idea when Nel would be back, nor did he know how to call anyone to the room. While being there, he had never used the medic bay nor seen it be used. He gets up and grabs the tray quietly, sucking in a deep breath.

Grimm would _not_ let anyone cause a bloody mess in his house, right?

As quietly as he could, Shiro sneaks out of the room, leaving the medic bay to head for the kitchen. For his slight relief, no one was around at the moment, so he reached the large kitchen safely. Looking around the cabinets, Shiro picked up stuff for Ichi that reminded what he’d had originally. He put the ready-made soup into the microwave to heat it, hoping that the sound would not alarm anyone to his presence.

It was so ridiculous, him feeling terrified of moving around this place, but...Shiro couldn’t help it.

Once the soup was done, he puts the plate onto the tray, and sighs, ready to make the journey back to his safe place.

However, a hand lands on his shoulder and yanks him away from the food tray, and Shiro is faced by the two henchmen he _really_ didn’t want to run into.

”Look Di Roy, now he’s trying to sneak in and steal boss’ food!”

Edrad smirks at Shiro angrily, who curses his bad luck in his head; he didn’t want to deal with this right now.

”Ya got a lot of fuckin’ _nerve!_ I still dunno why boss even bothered ta help ya an’ let ya in here.”

Di Roy spats at him, looking like he wanted to sink his ridiculously sharp teeth onto his flesh like a shark.

”Guys, I ain’t got time ta deal wit’ ya right now so cut it out.”

Shiro tells them sharply, standing to his full height. The two glance at each other, then the big guy charges at Shiro, grabbing his throat and throwing him across the room until Shiro hits a wall. The impact forces all of the air out of his lungs and the pale figure coughs, collapsing to the floor wheezing.

He doesn’t stay there for long, rolling aside as Edrad now tries to kick him and swings his leg to knock the redhead off-balance.

Edrad stumbles back and crashes onto Di Roy, who snarls under his mate’s weight, managing to shove him off and sprint after Shiro, who was now running away. Forget the fucking food, he was not gonna deal with this right now.

**_”Get back here ya bastard!”_ **

Di Roy snarls after him, but Shiro naturally ignores the demand, turning a corner and running across the hallway, heading back for the medic bay. Throwing the door open, Shiro slams it closed behind him and holds it close, while the shark tooth bangs on it on the other side.

”Lemme in ya lil shit! I promise I’ll just maul ya lightly!”

” ** _Fuck off_ ** Di Roy! Grimm’s gonna kill ya if you make a mess here!”

Shiro barks back, noting that his arms were shaking from the effort of keeping the door closed; he was still too weakened from lack of nutrition.

”Edrad! _Over here!”_

Di Roy suddenly yells, and a second later, a much stronger force slams against the door, and Shiro almost loses it; now the big guy was trying to get in too, what the fuck?

”That is _low_ from you, hiding in there like a coward instead of facing us like a man!”

 

**_”LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!”_ **

 

Shiro nearly screams at them, his frustration,anger and fear mixing into a lovely fucking cacophony once again.

Why did he agree to come here?

 

His arms began to slip as Edrad slams against the door again, but just as the pale figure was about to collapse under the strain, a tan palm _slams_ against the door, effectively shutting it down and actually knocking the big guy and Di Roy back a bit. An arm now wraps around his abdomen, holding Shiro upright just as his knees were about to buckle.

” _What the hell_ are you two buffoons doing?”

Shiro froze upon hearing the familiar voice behind him, and he could tell the two on the other side did so as well.

”We...he was...stealing food from the fridge.”

Grimmjow sucks in a long breath, sounding seconds away from mauling someone, and given Shiro was currently trapped in his hold, he’d probably be the first target.

”The shit Nel got fer his brother’s gone. He said he didn’t touch it. Why don’t cha put two and two together, **numbskulls.”**

The two turn silent on the other side, likely sensing the seething anger from their boss.

”Uh...he _did_ have a tray...”

Edrad mutters out after a moment of awkward silence.

Shiro could almost hear the vicious grin in Grimmjow’s voice now. The arm holding him tightened subconsciously, strong enough to make it a bit difficult for Shiro to breathe.

”Why don’t you two fuckers be good boys and fucking _get the patient his goddamn food_ instead of running amok and fucking my shit up. ’Cause I’m about ready to RIP someone’s head off!”

Shiro could hear the two scramble off, and part of him wants to release a sigh of relief. However, he was still effectively trapped by the guy who probably wanted him dead the most, and the only reason he didn’t do so was the fact his code of honor wouldn’t let him kill Shiro as long as Ichigo was there.

After a second, the arm vanishes from around him and Shiro drops to the floor, his knees finally giving away.

Shit, this was so pathetic, he _hated_ looking so weak.

”Get up. Your brother’s awake.”

Grimmjow tells him simply, turning and not even bothering to see if Shiro followed him.

After a moment of just sitting there to wait and have his heart rate and breathing settle, Shiro pushes himself up and heads back to Ichigo’s room. As Grimmjow had said, Ichigo was awake, and he looked at Shiro with widened eyes, likely having heard the commotion outside. Grimmjow was in the room too, hands in his pockets as usual, and Shiro got the vibe the two had been talking before he sprinted back.

”Shiro?”

The pale figure just shakes his head and curls back up on to the armchair.

Moments later, Shawlong appears with the new tray of food, giving Shiro a pitying glance, before placing the tray onto the nightstand.

”It seems your brother had a run-in with Di Roy and Edrad. They both are very ....... _protective_ of young master.”

”Ah...”

Ichigo mutters out, not knowing what else to say to that.

Grimmjow lets out a long suffering sigh and rubs his eyes irritated, making Ichigo glance at him with a disapproving frown.

”Don’t give me that look carrots. I _explicitly_ told those fuckers ta leave yer brother alone as long as yer here.”

Grimmjow half growls at Ichigo, who doesn’t react to it like most would, just glares at him with that disapproving look. The blunet huffs irritated and marches off the room, giving Shiro a glance that made the pale figure shudder a bit. Shawlong sighs and nods at Ichigo, before following after his young boss.

”....What happened?”

Shiro sucks in a breath, still somewhat shaky.

”I uh...ate too much of yer food. Went ta get ya some more, but I ran into those two. They wanted ta fuck me up so I ran back. Fuckers tried ta come here forcibly.”

Ichigo frowns at that, then gestures Shiro to come closer. The pale figure stands up shakily and walks there, until he could sit on Ichigo’s bed.

”Why was Grimm in ’ere?”

”He just came to check on me.”

Ichigo shrugs, but his expression told Shiro there was more to it than that.

”What did ya guys talk ’bout?”

” _You._ I asked him why he helped me when he seems to despise you.”

Shiro actually chuckles a bit, his reaction surprising the ginger.

”It ain’t _that_ surprising honestly. Grimm’s got this weird code of honor, n’ he’s a big bro so...”

Shiro’s smirk turns sadder and eventually fades, as he gazes at his pale hands.

”I guess...he sympathized. Even if he....look, he’s not the type to let someone else suffer for anyone's crimes just ’cause they’re related to that person. If he ain’t got beef wit’ em directly, he’s chill.”

Ichigo hums, commenting on how surprisingly _noble_ that was for a shady criminal family boss.

”Well, he ain’t as bad as his pops was, that's what everybody keeps sayin' at least. Dunno as never met the old man.”

Shiro comments with a shrug, avoiding Ichigo’s gaze again. The ginger examines his brother quietly, thinking back on the short chat he had with the blunet.

 

 

He’d been surprised to wake up, finding Shiro wasn’t there, but instead the blunet had been leaning against the doorway, examining him quietly.

”Where’s....Shiro?”

”Dunno. He wasn’t here when I showed up.”

Grimmjow informs him bluntly, stepping in to the room, still examining the ginger. He seemed much calmer now than when Shiro was around, but it was actually a bit freakier because it was harder to tell what his intentions were. The blunet stops beside the bed, and Ichigo notes now that he looked rather tired too.

”You look like you need a nap. Lack of sleep is bad for your health.”

Ichigo comments without thinking, gaining an amused smirk from the blunet.

”Yer _definitely_ a doctor’s kid like Shiro. Ya both nag at me about bad sleeping habits.”

Ichigo shrugs a bit, glad that it no longer caused a jolt of pain. Grimmjow paces around the bed to absent-mindlessly check on the devices monitoring Ichigo’s vitals, and the ginger felt a little unsure on how to react to his presence.

There was not a sliver of hostility to him, which for Ichigo was bizarre given he was related to the person Grimmjow despised right now.

As the blue eyes turn back to him, Ichigo can no longer hold his question back.

”Why did you help me?”

”Was a good way ta get yer brother to cooperate without beatin’ ’im up.”

Grimmjow comments dismissively, gaining a frown from Ichigo.

”You could’ve just _left_ us there after he gave you what you wanted.”

The blue eyes zero in on the ginger, and a bit of hostility had returned to his expression.

”If you _want_ ta drop dead, be my guess; walk out n’ take that lying bastard with you. ’Cause yer right, I DIDN’T hafta help ya.”

Grimmjow snarls at the ginger, who didn’t waver under the intense gaze. He’d been stared down by people before, and while initially he’d been unnerved, right now, something about Grimmjow lacked the usual bite. Perhaps it was his lack of sleep making him subconsciously mellower.

”I _understand_ why you are mad at Shiro, but don’t insult him in front of me. You would **not** stand it if I spoke like this about Nel, would you?”

The way Grimmjow’s body tensed was a clear sign how much he had to hold back from lunging at Ichigo for that comment. The man was clearly heavily trigger-happy right now, but for some reason chose not to throw him around like last time, perhaps due to his injury.

Why would someone like _Grimmjow_ care about that was beyond him, but he apparently  did for some reason.

”No. But unlike yer shithead of a brother, Nel has _never_ done a single thing that would warrant an insult. Yer fuckin’ lied to me, used me to dig into shit I didn’t wanna think about anymore, all the while he fuckin’ claimed he gave a shit about me!”

”What makes you so sure that he _was_ pretending?”

Ichigo demands from the blunet, though kept his voice quiet, unsure if raising it was safe yet.

Grimmjow paces closer, placing a hand against the bed and leans in, until there was only few inches of space between them.

Alright, _now_ Ichigo was a bit freaked out.

”If he did give a shit ’bout me, he woulda not have ratted shit out about us ta Gin of all people. That bastard fucking worked for Aizen, n’ its HIS fault my pops got involved with _that_ bastard. T’s HIS fault my _mum_ is dead!”

Ichigo was speechless at that admittance; sure he’d sensed there was something shady about Gin, but this?

He did not know who Aizen was, but the amount of ice and venom in Grimmjow’s tone indicated he was someone Grimmjow hated more than anyone else, even Shiro.

”......Shiro may have been wrong in not being truthful of his intentions, but I don’t think he lied to you about his feelings. It's just not something he does.”

Ichigo tells the man quietly after a moment, not moving his gaze away from the blue eyes despite his unease. Grimmjow stares at him for a long moment, then backs away with an irritated huff, brushing trough his hair as he paces around for a bit like a caged animal.

He eventually spun around to face Ichigo again, but before he could, a familiar scream interrupted them, and Ichigo looks up with widened eyes, recognizing his brother’s voice immediately.

Before he could even consider trying to get up, Grimmjow storms out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I cannot promise anything regarding to ichigo's injury would be medically or scientifically accurate.   
> I'm not a medical student  
> I should be studying work-related swedish today but instead I wrote a fanfic.  
> Yeahh. I'm kinda feeling bad for Shiro in this fic, he's having it rough. Good thing his brother is there to hug him when he needs it.  
> brohugs  
> I shut up now.


	7. crash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grimmjow finds something that pushes him over the edge, and causes him to do something reckless

”That boy has been busy; the files and notes you gave me had more than I expected.”

Harribel informs the blunet the second she sits down on to the table, and her words gain an excited reaction from Nel.

”That’s great! Can they be useful with our situation? Was there anything of value?”

”It is hard to say, Mila-Rose and others are still analyzing them.”

Grimmjow snorts at that, questioning if those three could get anything done in between their bickering. Harribel gives him a stern look, likely guessing what he was thinking.

”While they don’t always see eye-to-eye, they are all very capable women.”

”Yeah yeah, I’ll take yer word for it.”

Grimmjow mutters out, rubbing his eyes again. He was still exhausted; ever since he’d brought those two into his house, he’d been unable to sleep. He just kept thinking about Shiro, his thoughts mixing into a muddy pool of violent fantasies and shameful longing, almost if his goddamn brain couldn’t decide if he should break the albino’s bones one-by-one or fuck him senseless. It was all just a chaotic mess.

”Grimm...”

Nel mutters out concerned, gently reaching for his hand.

The man sighs, too tired to even be irritated about her worry.

He felt like shit, and probably _looked_ like shit, it was impossible to hide.

”....Is he getting ill?”

Harribel asks after a moment of silence, and for fuck’s sake, _she_ sounded worried too now.

The man stands up, not needing them **both** fret over him like goddamn mother hens.

”M’going out.”

He mutters and marches off without further words, leaving the two watch after him concerned.

Grabbing his keys, the blunet ignores the questioning looks of his henchmen, who for some reason STILL hadn’t left the place.

_”Go back to the goddamn bar already!”_

He near growls at the group, all of whom flinch and then start quickly packing their stuff. Shawlong watches after the blunet with a frown, but says nothing to stop him or ask where he was going.

 

Driving trough the streets in his bike was honestly a good way to get his mind off things for a bit; he could forget all the bullshit in his life and just focus on driving, the speed he hurled past the buildings. He did not have any particular place in mind where to go, but it didn’t matter too much; he knew the streets of Hueco Mundo so well he knew where each turn was instinctively.

He could just let his body decide the direction he took.

After a while of driving, the weather was starting to shift, clouds covering the skies. It seemed like it was going to be one of those rare occasions when it actually rained in this god-damned place. Slowing his bike, Grimmjow turned to stop onto a parking lot of an old apartment complex, and he takes off his helmet, just allowing the raindrops hit his hair and face. It was such a rare occasion in this place that the blunet really enjoyed the feel against his skin, even if the rain was sometimes muddled with soot and dirt.

As he opens his eyes and takes a proper look onto his surroundings however, Grimmjow suddenly realizes; he’d driven to the place _Shiro_ had been staying.

With a frustrated huff, the blunet uses a lot of his willpower to not kick his bike or throw his helmet aside in anger.

_Of course._

Of course his mind would fucking do this. It's like it was obsessed with the pale bastard.

Staring at the building like it was some nasty thorn on his side, Grimmjow decides to head up and see if there was more shit about Aizen the shithead had hidden and failed to tell him about.

Marching up the stairs, Grimmjow eventually reaches the place and looks around. It looks exactly the same like when he came there last time. Run down and full of shit. It was such a drastic change from the way Shiro had used to live with him that it gave the man some grim satisfaction.

The bastard had clearly struggled after leaving; the water wasn’t running in this place and the generator that had powered the electric appliances had broken down already while Shiro was gone.

Checking the bedroom and the closet, there weren’t much spare clothes there, most in shit condition and dirty. Rain started to pour heavily outside, making the room turn chilly. The blunet didn’t really care about the cold, but could imagine how terrible it had to have been sleeping here when the air was chilly. Pacing back to the kitchen-living room, Grimmjow suddenly spots something he hadn’t noticed before.

There was a phone, abandoned on the table.

His eyes widen and then his expression turns into an angry sneer as he grabs it.

It was the one _he’d_ gotten for Shiro when he’d mentioned he’d lost his original phone.

The fucker had the gal to keep it huh?

Restraining himself from just throwing the thing against a wall to break it, Grimmjow opens it, surprised to find it still had battery. He could recall Shiro charging it the evening before he’d left to ’see Shawlong’ as he’d claimed.

The fact the phone was _still_ mostly charged indicated Shiro hadn’t really used it since.

It was...weird.

That he’d kept it, yet not used it at all.

Unable to stop his curiosity, Grimmjow unlocks the phone, noting Shiro hadn’t changed the code either. The photo on the background nearly makes him break the damned thing again, but Grimmjow holds it in. The fucking thing was bloody expensive, breaking it would be stupid and childish. It was pretty much how it was when Shiro had left; none of the photos were gone, none were added.

The old convos were there too.

Reading them made his eyes sting, and the blunet huffs, rubbing his eyes. He was **not** going to bawl like a fucking baby over this.

He wasn’t weak.

Then, the blunet suddenly realizes there was more to it. As he scrolls down, he realizes Shiro had typed one more message, one he _hadn’t_ sent.

Grimmjow frowns and eventually forces himself to read trough it.

 

_”I’m sorry._

_I know ya dun believe me even if I say this after all that, but I wasn’t lying. I should’ve been honest from the start n’ told ya ’bout my ma, ’bout why I asked you about that stuff, ’bout why I was sneaking into yer personal shit an’ all._

_I know that, not tellin' you the truth when I had so many chances was the stupidest thing I ever did. _

_But I wasn’t talkin’ ta Gin ta get dirt on you or anythin’ like that. He helped me to dig out info ’cause I didn’t want ta use you for that anymore. Maybe I wasn’t honest ’bout why I came ta you at first, but things changed overtime, a lot. _

_I wasn’t lying when I said I love you._

_I do._

_Please, believe me._

_Just....gimme a chance, I’ll tell you everything you wanna know_

_Please. I’m sorry.”_

 

 

Grimmjow just stares at the message, feeling intense, highly irrational rage boil within him.

With a loud growl, he **_finally_** loses it and does throw the phone against a wall, shattering it to pieces beyond repair.

Somehow it felt like a fitting metaphor to this whole mess.

The blunet leans against the table to get his harsh breathing back under control; his body was shaking with fury, and his vision was growing red. Tiny part of him knew his reaction was probably stronger than it should, but he was beyond the point of controlling it after the past few days. That pathetic, desperate and wimpy message was just the last straw with his already thin patience.

He had the _gal_ to beg like that?

**_Disgusting._ **

”If you really did care, **_why the fuck did you not trust me?!_** ”

Grimmjow spats out loud and throws the table aside, effectively breaking it as well, and damaging the sink and the oven too as the heavy wooden pieces crash against it.

Not that any of it mattered, Shiro was not coming back to live in this shithole.

He’d either have to get the FUCK out of this town, or end up _six feet under._

Furious, the blunet marches back down, not caring about the heavy rainfall as he heads for his bike, ready to drive back and give the lying piece of shit his final warning.

He’d let Shiro’s presence slide for too long.

He better get out once his brother was better, or Ichigo would drag him home in a fucking _bodybag._

 

 

 

Shiro had been chatting casually with Ichigo, when the door to the medic area suddenly opened and the five from the bar hurried past their room alongside Nelliel, carrying something.

Shiro abruptly realized the limp, bloodied form Edrad and Nakeem had been carrying was _Grimmjow_ , and his eyes widen in horror.

”What’s going on?”

Ichigo asks confused but gains no answer as Shiro sprints after the group, joining them on the other room where Nel was currently performing first aid on the injuries.

”Shawlong, call the doctor back, this is serious!”

The man just nods and hurries past shocked Shiro, only sparing him a glance.

”W-what...?”

”Get **_outta_ ** here bastard! This is none of your business!”

Di Roy hisses at him, but shuts up as Nel gives him a look, before looking at Shiro again.

”Your dad is a doctor wasn’t he? Help me out.”

”But My Lady, we cannot possibly trust him with Grimmjow’s care!” Yltfordt protests, but Shiro just shoves him aside, asking Nel what she needed.

 

 

 

The next thirty minutes or so go by in a sort of haze, as Shiro focuses on helping her to stop the bleeding and stabilizing the man up until the doctors arrived to take over. Once they do, Shiro just sort of stumbles in the hallway, slumping to sit against a wall, staring at his bloodied hands. The red color stood out drastically from his pale complexion, and Shiro felt tears prickling his eyes again.

What the hell happened?

”Shiro?”

He manages to look up, finding Ichigo standing beside him in his hospital gown. He was able to stand and walk on his own somewhat already, which probably should be a good thing, but Shiro couldn’t bring himself to be happy about it. Shakily, he gets up and sort of slumps against Ichigo, getting blood on his gown. The ginger ignores it and just supports him, glancing at the room where the doctors were at currently, alongside Nel and the five.

”I-Ichi...”

The ginger could feel his brother’s legs turn wobbly, so he sits down with him, just holding the pale figure as his breathing was getting quicker by the second. He’d never seen Shiro panic this bad before, thought ever since they’d reunited, he’d felt his pale twin was very close to doing just that.

Eventually, Nel steps out from the room looking exhausted, closing the door behind her.

”Crashed with his bike. It’s raining cats and dogs outside so the roads are flooding. He wasn’t being careful.”

Ichigo’s eyes widen, and he glances down at Shiro who was _still_ trying to ease his breathing.

Nel watches them for a moment, and sighs, sad smile on her lips.

”I think it’s better for you two to go back to your room.”

Ichigo had to agree, and together with Nel, they helped Shiro to the bed. Initially Nel had intended to put him on the armchair, but Ichigo told her it was fine, that the bed was big enough for both of them.

”Shiro and I have shared a bed as kids so it’s not that weird.”

Nel hums at that and nods, letting Shiro curl up on the feet end of Ichigo’s bed while the ginger slumps back down to his pillows, now feeling a little dizzy.

”You need to be careful; walking that much must be still difficult.”

”Yeah, but...” he nudges towards Shiro, and the woman understood what he was getting at.

”Just rest; I’ll bring you two food later.”

Ichigo nods and smiles at her, closing his eyes.

 

 

 

Eventually the pale figure uncurls himself, noting the lights were dimmed in the area.

Either that, or the bad weather outside reduced the amount of light in the room. The sound of the rain hitting heavily to the roof was loud; it had been a while since it had last rained so the weather tended to pour water all over once it did rain in Hueco Mundo.

Glancing at Ichigo, he notes the ginger was asleep, and there was empty food plate beside him.

Good, Ichigo was eating.

He was really getting better.

Cautiously, Shiro slips off the bed and paces out of the door, a heavy lump on his throat. He was walking towards the room Grimmjow was in almost if in trance. The room was empty, but Shiro was certain somebody would come in soon. As he walks to the bed the blunet was laying on, his stomach twists unpleasantly. Grimmjow was pretty badly bruised, and his skin was unusually pale. There was tiny bits of blood still mixed in his blue hair, and Shiro reaches out reflexively to rub it away.

The monitors indicated he was stable, but seeing him in such a state was....

”What were you thinking? Yer usually a good driver. Reckless as _shit_ , but you never crashed before.”

Shiro mutters out, desperately wanting to touch him more, but afraid to do so.

As the silence stretched out and Grimmjow didn’t react to his presence however, Shiro gathers his courage and sits down at the edge of the bed, brushing his fingers over his knuckles.

Some fingers had broken but would luckily heal, the more concerning bit was his head; had he not worn a helmet Grimmjow would’ve probably died. After a moment of hesitation, he closes his fingers around the bruised hand, careful not to squeeze too tight.

”Don’t fuckin’ die on me please...I don’t care if ya hate me for the rest of my life, but...just...I don’t wanna leave this place knowing you’ve dropped dead.”

He whispers out, voice shaky, then rubs his eyes with his sleeve.

Shit.

This whole fucking mess was _bullshit._

All because he recklessly wanted to go and find the guy who killed their mum, thinking the police worked too slow.

Ichigo was right, this whole...this whole plan had been reckless and stupid, selfish even.

Now _two_ people he loved were lying bedridden, because of him.

Sure, he did not know exactly what had caused Grimmjow’s crash, but if he had to guess Shiro could bet on it having something to do with the man being distracted due to his anger towards him.

Shiro could hear distant sounds, and fearing someone was coming to check on Grimm - someone not Nel based on the heavy footsteps - he leans closer and plants a quick, careful kiss on his unmarred cheek, before slipping out of the room, entering back into Ichi’s just as Nakeem steps in to the medic bay. He glances at Shiro but says nothing, heading to guard their boss. The pale figure sighs and slumps to the armchair now, curling up and trying to get some sleep.

 

 

 

It took Grimmjow two days to regain consciousness.

 

 

 

During this time, Nel had shooed the five to go and work back at the bar as they’d stayed away for too long.

Only Shawlong stayed behind to help watch after Grimmjow like he’d used to when he and Nelliel had been kids. Ichigo’s condition improved greatly as well, he was able to eat without trouble and walk around, though still suffered from bad migraines occasionally.

Shiro on the other hand... Ichigo was _extremely_ concerned, because he refused to eat or drink properly, and mostly just sat in his chair curled up.

He was clearly worried for Grimmjow, but the ginger knew it was more than that; Shiro had a lot of weight on his shoulders that was slowly crushing him.

Ichigo knew Shiro blamed himself for what happened to him.

He also likely blamed himself for Grimmjow’s crash, and everything before it.

It was hard to watch, but Ichigo didn’t know what to say or do to help him. Shiro just... refused to speak about it. If their mum was there, she would’ve known what to do. Ichigo wasn’t Masaki, he didn’t have a clue how to deal with this. He'd never seen his twin this bad.

”Shiro, you gotta eat.”

Ichigo told his brother for the fifth time that evening, trying to get the sickly looking albino to swallow at least half a sandwich.

Shiro just shakes his head, faking a smile and telling Ichigo he needed the food more.

The ginger sighs, knowing he couldn’t do much to get Shiro to eat.

Force-feeding his brother wasn’t really an option, namely because he was currently too weak to do so and did not trust anyone else to do it without choking him to death.

Shiro watches Ichigo fall asleep, watches him sleep for a while, then gets up shakily. He was malnourished, Shiro knew it, the fact his body felt weak and lethargic was an obvious sign of that, but he couldn’t bring himself to eat. His stomach was in tight knots and felt like it’d force out anything he put there. Still though, he could at least do with a glass of water. Shiro takes support from the wall and makes his way to the kitchen. It was quiet as most were asleep at this hour. Somehow, he manages to hold a glass and pour water in it, drinking the whole thing down without dropping the damn thing despite how his hand was shaking.

However, as he tries to leave the counter, his knees almost buckle, and Shiro curses under his breath, waiting for his head to clear.

As he finally feels stable enough, Shiro turns, then freezes on his tracks.

 

Grimmjow was leaning against the doorway, his eyes kinda glazed over, indicating he was slightly drugged.

 

 

He was only wearing hospital pants, exposing the several bandages and bruises around his body.

His left arm was in a sling as it had broken on the crash.

”....I _think......._ I was supposed ta...... tell ya somethin’ but...I forgot what it was.”

The man mutters out tiredly, and Shiro nearly stumbles to him, ignoring his shaky legs for now, let alone the fact the blunet still very much hated his guts and would probably love to throw him outta tenth floor window or so.

”Ya _fool_ , you shoulda not be up!”

Shiro hisses at him, grasping his shoulders to stabilize himself. He was shaking pretty bad now, not just out of malnutrition though. Grimmjow just gazes at him dully, which wasn’t surprising giving the amount of painkillers he was likely on.

”C’mon, let’s bring you back to bed.”

Shiro tries to tug him back to his room, but as usual, Grimmjow doesn’t budge under his feeble grip and he just stares at the pale figure with a tired expression.

”Grimm, d’ya want to make yer condition worse?”

Shiro demands from him, then shuts his jaw abruptly as a tan hand grabs his pale wrist surprisingly tightly, and Grimmjow brings his arm up, examining it for a moment.

”......Yer almost skin an’ bones. What the fuck were you thinking?”

Shiro blinks, surprised about the question.

Yeah, looking at his wrist in Grimmjow’s grasp, he _did_ look like a twig. It wasn’t purely the result of the last few days though, he’d struggled with food ever since he left the manor, it was just that now it was finally becoming severe.

”I...I coulda not eat. Or sleep much for that matter.”

”Why not?”

Dull blue eyes examine his face, barely able to focus.

”....I was worried about _you_. That and a lot of other shit was weighing on me.”

Shiro admits quietly, unable to look Grimmjow in the eyes now; he doubted the man would really believe him anyway.

The blunet remains quiet, eventually letting go of his wrist.

However, instead of letting go of him entirely, it moves up to grasp the hair at the back of his neck, _tugging_ on it so Shiro was forced to tilt his head back.

Teeth brush his jaw and neck, and Shiro feels a shudder run down his spine.

The gesture was achingly familiar, and he wondered if the drugs were making Grimmjow act like this.

”It _should._ Ya _**should**_ feel like shit for the bullshit you pulled.”

The blunet mutters against his skin, his tone a bit chilly.

Shiro parts his lips to say something, he wasn’t sure what, and he forgot it the second Grimmjow’s lips pressed against his skin like hot branding iron.

It had been _so_ long since last time, and his body felt cold due to his state, so that touch felt burning hot against him, catching the albino by surprise.

He heard a low growl escape Grimmjow’s throat and he grips the white hair tighter, planting another, more heated kiss against his neck.

”Fuck, ya still taste _good._ ”

The blunet mumbles out, and Shiro felt him move closer, shifting his weight against him a bit more. The pale figure has no choice but to grasp his shoulders firmly, then wrap his arms around Grimmjow’s neck to not collapse to the floor. While the blunet was out of it due to the painkillers, he was still _somehow_ stabler than Shiro.

A tongue now slicked his skin, causing shivers run down his spine. Shiro's brain was a confused mess, not understanding what the hell was going on right now, and his body was quickly turning into a hot bothered mess after being devoid of this kind of attention for so long.

Suddenly, Grimmjow shifted again, this time tugging harshly onto the white locks, until Shiro was pinned against a wall beside the door, his pale lips almost viciously claimed by the blunet.

His previously weak body flared to life, and Shiro let out a startled noise, then began to respond to it almost reflexively.

 _Fuck_ , it felt so **good.**

He’d near forgotten how good of a kisser Grimmjow was, his tongue playing with his, teeth biting onto his lip almost painfully.

He was soon bodily pinned against the wall, the broken arm on a sling between them a bit uncomfortable, but Grimmjow seemed to be too high to care, slipping down to Shiro’s neck again and biting the skin there, making the albino yelp and let out a slight whimper, tilting his head back against the wall.

The hand previously in his hair was now grabbing his shoulder, painfully enough to probably leave a bruise or so.

Grimmjow was _ridiculously_ strong even when drugged and injured.

After a while, the blunet _finally_ stopped the sweet assault on to the pale figure’s neck, leaving a deep bite mark in there.

Not just his neck though, Shiro was fairly sure his shoulder was bruised, and his lip was bleeding too, the redness of his blood standing out against the pale skin, like Grimmjow’s blood on his hands earlier. Thinking back on that moment made Shiro’s heart stutter, and he reaches a hand out to place it on Grimmjow’s cheek.

The blue eyes were heavily hazed now, and _not_ because of medication.

”Grimm....you gotta go back to bed.”

He tells the man softly, finding it extremely hard to ignore the want in those blue eyes, let alone the effect it had on _his_ downstairs.

It wasn’t right to allow this to go any further, not when Shiro couldn’t be sure if Grimmjow was fully aware of his actions.

The blunet mumbles out a weak protest, but he doesn’t resist as Shiro hauls his good arm over his shoulder, dragging Grimmjow back to his bed. He seems to pass out almost instantly as he hits the sheets, and Shiro stands there for a moment, rubbing his sore shoulder and trying to understand what just happened.

Was he so drugged he’d forgotten of their current situation and imagined this to be before all that?

Or was it something else?

Shiro hated the fact he didn’t know for sure.

With a sigh, he tugs the blanket over the man before walking back to Ichigo’s room, adjusting his hoodie to try and hide the bite on his neck.

He could explain the lip away as they both had the habit of chewing on it.

 

 

 

 

” _What the hell?_   Why did you tell me they changed their minds earlier?”

Gin held his hands up, more than little freaked out by the intense glare the woman was aiming at him. Calling her had been risky, but after seeing Grimmjow come back and look trough Shi's phone, he started to worry again and figured he had no other option.

”I felt the boys would be okay; I know Grimm-boy very well and figured he wouldn’t hurt either of them given the circumstance.”

The black haired woman almost breaks her pipe, then proceeds to grab Gin’s collar and shakes him, not hiding her fury one bit.

”YOU LEFT MY UNCLE’S BOYS IN THE HANDS OF A CRIMINAL HEIR AND THINK THEY’RE _SAFE?!_ ”

”Please Ms. Kuukaku, I told you they are fine at the moment!......I believe.”

The woman drops him, but keeps glaring at the man over the table. She couldn’t believe this bastard; first he tells her to come and pick up her cousins she’d never seen, then says they changed their minds, and **_now_ ** he had the gal to tell her that maybe they’d be in trouble after all.

” **Don’t give me that crap Gin!** We gotta go and get our boys back! Wasn't that why you called me again in the first place??”

”I know Kuukaku; you see, since you know Harribel, I figured you could go and speak to her about it and arrange something... I am not terribly popular in the Jeagerjaquez estate you see so I cannot do much myself.”

Kuukaku rubs her eyes irritated, poking Gin painfully with her pipe.

”Why do I have to fix your messes Gin. When I asked you to look after Shiro, I didn’t mean dumping him in the arms of a _Jeagerjaquez!_ ”

”The boy isn’t like his father.”

”Even if he isn’t, he’s known to be temperamental fucker; who knows what he’ll do with those two.”

”I think I know someone else like that...”

**_”WHAT WAS THAT?”_ **

Gin barely manages to dodge the shoe thrown at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup.  
> Grimmjow's stamina in this story is kinda ridiculous honestly.  
> That or Shiro was REALLY weakened there.  
> Also.   
> In case you feel Grimmjow's reactions are overly negative and strong, they are.   
> Nel is onto something when she said he might be overreacting for a bit.   
> There is a reason behind it that I'll eventually reveal overtime. Because my fics always have to have million plottwists and subplots and stories behind every other detail...  
> Honestly  
> howdafuq I manage to keep anything in mind when writing stories is a bit of a miracle.


	8. no second chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro finally gets to explain himself, but it might be too little too late

Grimmjow's head was buzzing like crazy, and it took him a while to recall what the hell was going on.

 

.........................................................

 

Oh yeah, he’d lost control over his damned bike due to all the water on the street.

Given the fact he didn’t feel cold anymore indicated he was not lying on the water soaked street anymore. Grimmjow vaguely recalled seeing Yltfordt head his way.

He must’ve crashed near the bar or something.

Or they’d been on the way back like he’d told them to, hell if he knew at this point.

As his head cleared more, the blunet could recall something else, almost like a dream.

It was all so.... _hazy,_ but...

He’d heard someone talking, a familiar voice talking to him. Then...

He’d been walking, to the kitchen.

Shiro was there, pale like a ghost, moreso than usual.

He’d looked thin like a stick, and said something to him.

Then he’d....

 

 

 

The blue eyes snap open, and he jolts up, flinching and cursing as his injuries force him to lay back. As his head cleared fully, the full effect of his bruising hit him, and fuck it hurt. He could not believe he’d fucking done _that,_ stupid fucking **god-damned** painkillers and their bloody side-effects.

”Ah, you’re _awake!”_

Looking up, Grimmjow finds Nel standing beside him with a relieved look on her face. Before he could even say anything, she grabs him into a tight hug, nearly smothering the blunet with her ample bosom.

”I was really worried, you looked terrible! I mean, the doctors said the injuries weren’t as severe as we thought, but still!”

She sobs openly, then lets him go upon realizing she was probably putting stress on his injuries. Grimmjow coughs and glares at her annoyed, though it was hard to stay mad upon seeing how pale she was. Must’ve really spooked her. It was nothing new really, but he still felt a bit bad about it.

”What on _earth_ happened Grimm? You’ve never crashed before, not even when it was raining this heavily.”

She questions him then, sitting down on the chair beside his bed. Grimmjow turns his gaze away and frowns, trying to recall what he’d been doing before the crash. Once the unsent message entered back into his mind, Grimmjow let’s out a hiss and attempts to get up, wanting to go and smack the pale shithead **right** there and then. Nel forces him back down however, frowning at the man and asking why he was so angry _now._

”Why? That bastard had the _gal_ to BEG for me to forgive him for his bullshit, and the coward never even sent it!”

Nel blinks confused, then softly asks him to explain, while squeezing his hand gently. Seeing her concerned look, it was hard for him not to deflate a bit.

The man sighs and slumps back down against the pillows, allowing her to keep holding his hand.

”I sorta ended up where he’d been staying. Found the phone I got for ’im.”

Nel remains quiet, watching her brother closely. He was clearly trying not to get pissed off again, given he’d just make his injuries worse if he did.

”He’d written one more message ta me he never sent. It was all bunch of sorry ass excuse bullshit.”

”...What did he write exactly?”

Grimmjow huffs and turns his head away from her.

”Don’t remember anymore, threw the fucking thing into a wall and it broke.”

The green haired woman goes quiet, then releases a slow sigh, the kind of sigh that told Grimmjow he was up for a parenty nagging.

”Grimm....have you, even _once_ during these past months, thought that perhaps....you’re **not** thinking this trough clearly?”

Blue eyes snap back at her, but she holds a hand up to shut him up and let her finish. Grimmjow knew better than to argue with her; when Nel wanted to say something, you damn well listened.

”What he did was wrong, not being honest with you. But. I don’t think he _pretended_ to care. I saw him behind that door, after initially helping me to perform first aid to stop you stubborn buffoon from dying.”

She pokes his forehead for extra emphasis on the stubborn part, making Grimmjow flinch. This fucking woman, why did she have to constantly make him feel bad AND be literal pain?

”He was on the floor, _shaking_ like he was panicking. And after that, he just paced around like a lost puppy for the past few days, his brother couldn’t get him to eat or sleep. Do you _really_ think that somebody who didn’t actually love you, would react like this? If so, Shiro is a terrific actor.”

Grimmjow says nothing, just turns his gaze aside.

”Are you sure it’s not your ego that was hurt, rather than your emotions? Because...”

The blue haired male levels her with such a gaze that Nelliel shuts up for once and backs away a bit. It was clear that whatever she just said had offended him.

”D’you really think I’d be struggling with this fucking shit if it was _just_ my ego? If it was, I’d dealt with Shi  long time ago. I HATE his guts for not being honest, you **_know_ ** how much I hate it when people lie to me. It’s just....”

He sighs and lifts his free hand up to rub his eyes, unable to finish his sentence.

”....Shiro isn’t like **him**.  You know it too. Maybe he didn’t wound your ego, but I'd dare to say your ego is stopping you from allowing him to explain himself.”

Grimmjow said nothing to that; what the fuck _could_ he say?

Nel was right, as much as he hated admitting it.

Shiro lying to him, pretending to make friends at the beginning just to gain his trust and dig out the info about Aizen, that was wrong, had been wrong.

However, he’d have to be an absolute fool to not see the truth in what Nelliel described.

Maybe Shiro had entered his life with shady intentions, but what he ended up feeling was different.

He just...after what had happened with Luppi, with Aizen, he didn’t want to grant ANYONE a second chance once they betrayed his trust. He didn’t **believe** in second chances, at least didn’t used to, not after being burned one too many times. He was done giving people another shot at gaining his trust.

Grimmjow sighs, dropping his hand and gazing at the ceiling. Nel was still beside him, but said nothing, sensing her brother was considering her words.

 

 

 

 

_Waking up, his head ached like crazy; he’d clearly drank too much last night._

_It wasn’t too big of a deal however, once he felt the weight on top of him shift sleepily, nuzzling against his neck like a lazy cat. Cracking one eye open, Grimmjow took a moment to just admire the sight of completely bare Shiro sprawled all over him like a big white cat. There was still that bite-mark on his neck from last night, and Grimmjow traced his fingers over it, feeling more than little satisfied about it._

_It hadn’t taken him much to turn Shi into melted wax in his arms, and by the time he was done, the albino had downright refused to move to go and take a shower, plastering himself firmly against the blunet with a satisfied sigh._

_After a while though, Shiro does roll off him and curl up like a kitty, clutching a pillow in his lap._

_It was such a weird, cute thing he usually did when asleep, apparently a habit he’d had since a kid._

_Getting up, Grimmjow stretches a bit and glances at Shiro once, before heading for a shower. By the time he was done and came back drying his hair, Shiro had rolled himself into the blanket, making him look like a human sized snow burrito._

_The blunet couldn’t stop but laugh a bit at seeing it; Shi had so many weird but cute kiddo-like habits._

_He slumps back to the bed and tickles the pale foot peeking out from the blankets, making Shiro squirm and try to snake away sleepily. The blunet grins and grabs his ankle, effectively yanking the whole blanket roll to himself, tugging him up until Shiro was firmly secured in his hold, glaring up at him peeved while basically trapped inside the blanket._

_His own fault for rolling into it._

_”You did seem kind of boneless last night, but I didn’t think you’d outright drop off your limbs.”_

_Grimmjow snickers at the pouty look Shi was giving him, and the albino struggles to try and free himself._

_”Very funny, leggo of me will ya? T’s hot in here.”_

_”You rolled yourself into that all without my help.”_

_Grimmjow points out, but loosens his hold enough to let Shiro at least free his arms, which immediately landed around his neck._

_”And ya should **know** when I’m in my blanket roll I dun wanna be disturbed.” _

_Grimmjow just chuckles at that, highly amused by the childish argument they were having. He then leans closer to press a kiss against Shi’s jaw, and as expected the albino shivers a bit, tightening his arms around him. For some reason his neck was really fuckin’ sensitive and it was pretty easy to reduce him to a puddle by just focusing your attentions there._

_”My bad, you just looked too cute there to **not** pick up.” _

_Shiro lets out a long suffering sigh, but then just leans his head against Grimmjow’s shoulder, and the blunet lifts his head a bit to give him a quick kiss._

_Well, it was intended to be quick, but then Shiro suddenly shoves him down to the bed and intensifies it, to the point they’re both panting once he pushes back a bit._

_”Well, I’ve had shittier mornings.”_

_Grimmjow smirks up at the pale figure, who snickers back at him, then nuzzles against his chest for a bit._

_”Let’s not get up. I wanna stay in bed the whole day.”_

_”Stop bein’ lazy you lil shit.” Grimmjow tells him amused, poking his head._

_Shiro swats his hand away dismissively, clutching onto him tighter and burying his face even deeper._

_”M’not. Yer just too darn comfy.”_

_The blunet sighs dramatically and then flips them around, pinning Shiro’s hands above his head with a sly smirk._

_”As much as the idea’s tempting, I got shit to do today. So if ya want me ta stay, you gotta work fer it.”_

_Shiro struggles against his hold for a bit, but eventually just gives in with a sigh, gaining a snicker and a quick kiss from Grimmjow, before he gets up and finishes drying his hair._

_”Ya might wanna take a shower too.”_

_He points out after a moment, and Shiro grimaces, realizing the blunet had a point. He scrambles up and saunters off to the bathroom, giving his lover a great view on the way. The blunet hums and shakes his head, tugging on his clothes and heading downstairs. Nel was up and about as usual, rushing around organizing things. She waves him good morning before vanishing out of the door, heading out somewhere again. He had no clue where, nor did he really care. It was probably Tia-related so none of his business._

_After downing a nasty tasting concoction for his hangover, the blunet turns on the coffee maker for him and Shi, before heading back to check on the albino._

_Shiro was out of shower, currently reading something from his phone with a deep frown on his face._

_As Grimmjow places a hand on his hip, Shiro almost yelps and tugs the phone against his chest, gaining a low chuckle from the man behind him, who nuzzles his hair._

_”What’s with that face?”_

_”Ah, I just...think someone sent me a message to a wrong number. Some old guy bitching about his cat or so.”_

_”Really? I wanna see.”_

_Shiro holds the phone away from his reach however, telling him he already deleted it._

_”Aww, you’re **no** fun.”_

_”That ain’t the impression I got last night.”_

_Grimmjow’s grin widens at that comment, and he nips Shiro’s ear, making him jump in surprise and almost drop the phone._

_”How ’bout you forget about grumpy old men fer a bit n’ we’ll see who’s the fun one.”_

_Flicking his tongue over the pale neck, Grimmjow could feel Shi tremble and press against him, and as he places a smoldering kiss there, a small curse escapes from the pale lips, and a hand reaches up to grasp his hair, weakly trying to tug him off._

_”C’mon Grimm, ya said you had shit to do.”_

_”Might’ve changed my mind.”_

_The phone was pretty quickly discarded after that, as Shiro turned all his attention back to the blunet._

 

_Later, while Shiro was taking another shower, curiosity overcame the blunet; he normally didn’t snoop into Shi’s shit, but lately the albino had had this face more and more often when looking at his phone. Grimmjow didn't really by the old man story one bit, he doubted Shi would've reacted the way he had if it really was the case._

_He knew the pin code, though Shiro wasn’t aware of it._

_Glancing towards the shower, Grimmjow unlocks the phone to see what all the fuzz was actually about._

_There indeed was new message, but it was not labeled as an unknown number, but under **’dad.’** _

_Huh, so it was family drama then?_

_Shi didn’t talk too much about his family, mainly just babbled about his twin brother every now and then, whom he pretty obviously missed but was afraid to make contact with due to a ’fallout’ as Shiro put it. Glancing at the bathroom door, the blunet struggles with himself, but eventually his curiosity wan out again; Shiro had been on the edge lately, to the point he was honestly concerned._

_Maybe just taking a peek would give insight onto what was going on._

_Opening the message, the first thing Grimmjow notes was that it was rather...weird one coming from a parent._

 

_**”Alright Shi, I found the thing ya asked me for. I can send it to ya unless you can pick it up”** _

 

_Grimmjow frowns, a bit confused; Shi had never mentioned that any of his family would be around here. Granted, he never spoke of his family - aside from the brother - in the first place, but the blunet had always gotten the vibe they lived far away._

_Scrolling up a bit, he noted many of the texts were of similar nature; asking Shiro pick up something or giving him an address._

_**What the hell?** _

_Suddenly, he heard the bathroom door crack open, and Grimmjow quickly closes the phone and puts it back to the nightstand, shifting further back to the bed and rubs his neck with a frown. Moments later, pale arms engulfed him into a firm embrace, and Shiro tilted his head back so he could plant a kiss on his temple._

_”What’s wit’ the frowny face?”_

_Grimmjow gazes up at him for a moment, examining the pale face and golden eyes he’d grown very familiar with. Shiro was smiling at him, his body warm against his back despite the near ghost-like appearance. He was damn fine to look at, the blunet found himself thinking for the umpteenth time since they met._

_Eventually, a smile spreads across his face and Grimmjow shifts to turn around for a bit, ruffling trough the white hair much to Shiro’s dismay._

_”Stop doin’ that! I ain’t a kid!”_

_”Ya often act like a kid.”_

_The albino grumbles, his face flushing lightly, and Grimmjow snickers at that, nudging his shoulder and shaking his head._

_He was just being paranoid again, the blunet kept telling himself._

 

 

 

”I kind of want to get out of this room for a bit; I think I’m good enough for a walk.”

”Ya sure Ichi? Dun want ya to go and collapse on the floor again like that...”

The ginger gives his brother a look and pushes himself up, taking few tentative steps towards Shiro, who was ready to bolt to him in case he’d start stumbling again. It seemed however that Ichigo was indeed fine, his steps were stable and only little wobbly for under-use.

”C’mon, let’s go for a walk.”

He encourages Shiro, offering his hand to the albino twin. After a moment of hesitation, Shiro nods and takes it, still supporting Ichigo just in case as they left the room, heading out of the medical wing for now.

”This place is pretty big; Grimmjow’s family must really be rich huh.”

”One of the richest in the city. Which honestly ain’t _that_ hard when a lotta folk are piss poor.”

Shiro mutters out, keeping a close eye on him. The brown eyes turn to look at Shiro with lift eyebrow.

”...T’s Aizen’s fault. He was the Mayor for a while n’ really fucked the economy. Nel’s fiancee is the current mayor and she’s tryna fix the mess left behind.”

Ichigo’s eyes widen in slight surprise.

”You’d think a _mayor_ would not want to get involved with a crime family?”

Shiro chuckles a bit, walking to the couch with Ichigo to help him sit down on it.

”Yer thinking ’bout this too Karakura-ish. Shit works differently here. Grimm’s fam actually brings a lot of stability to this place by keeping gangs under control. Necessary evil so to say.”

Ichigo hums at that, figuring it made sense; Hueco Mundo was a pretty shady place after all. Shiro gazes into thin air for a moment, as if recalling a memory or so.

”Granted, his pops worked wit’ Aizen so he did kinda screw shit over too somewhat. Grimm’s different, he an’ Nel cleaned up the mess somewhat, but there are still folk who hate ’em.”

”That’...understandable I suppose.”

”That’s...also why Grimm’s got that _code;_ he’s bein’ blamed for shit his dad did. He refuses to do that to others because he thinks it’s bullshit. Blood-relation dun equal guilty.”

Huh, that explained it a bit.

”....So...this Aizen. You think he’s involved with what happened to mum?”

Shiro’s expression turns dark, and he nods wordlessly. It was such an unnerving amount of hatred that Ichigo actually shuddered a bit upon seeing it.

”I’m pretty sure by this point that he’s the fucker who hired someone ta kill ma, I just dunno why yet.”

Ichigo falls silent at that, gazing into thin air for a moment as he held his chin thoughtfully. That name still tickled something in his brain, but Ichigo just couldn’t recall what he was. He’d heard that name somewhere before, but where?

Moments later, their thinking session was interrupted as the Nelliel appears to the living room, offering the twins a smile.

”Good to see you up and about Ichigo. You are healing remarkably well.”

”Thank you, it’s thanks to you guys.”

The ginger responds to her with an equal smile. She nods, then turns serious and looks at Shiro, who tenses under her gaze. He had a feeling what she was going to freak him out a little.

”Grimmjow is awake. He wants to talk to you.”

The pale figure tenses, and Ichigo squeezes his shoulder, glancing between them worried.

”I’ll come with you-”

”Ichigo, I _understand_ your need to support your brother, but this is something they need to settle themselves.”

The woman sighs, gesturing at Shiro, who stands up slowly after a moment of hesitation.

”Okay.”

**_”Shiro...”_ **

”It’s fine. She’s right. I gotta fix this wit’ ’im myself.”

He offers a shaky smile at his brother.

”Can’t expect ya ta always fix my messes can I?”

Before he could protest, Shiro heads back to the medic bay, his heart thundering in his chest.

 

 

Grimmjow was indeed awake, and his expression was unreadable once Shiro stepped in to the room, walking closer cautiously. The atmosphere was tense, but the pale figure couldn’t stop feeling relieved Grimmjow already looked so much better. His stamina was _insane,_ in several aspects. Both survival and more fun things. Things Shiro felt guilty for even thinking of right now.

”I’m....glad yer feelin’ better.”

”Shit looks worse than it is. My arm’s not even broken actually, just badly twisted according ta Nel.”

Shiro’s eyes widen, and he lets out a sigh of relief upon hearing that.

Fuck, this blue nutcase was **_lucky_** sometimes.

He takes few more tentative steps, until he was standing right beside the bed, though still staying closer to the feet end, not wanting to be on the reach of Grimmjow’s good arm. For a moment, neither of them spoke.

”I saw the message.”

The albino looks up at Grimmjow startled, clearly understanding what he was referring to.

”I...”

”I broke the phone, pissed me off so much.” Grimmjow cuts him off, leveling Shiro with an angry, deep frown.

Shiro’s mouth goes dry, and he wanted to bolt now. He’d figured Grimmjow would find it pathetic, hence he’d never sent it. Excuses, nothing but him trying to beg for a second chance, when Grimmjow had always made it clear he **didn’t** hand out those.

”.....Kinda regret it. The thing was expensive as all hell.”

The blunet shrugs, his gaze drifting away now. Shiro actually chuckles a bit, his voice shaking with nervousness.

”I didn’t really ask it to be that expensive of a model...”

Grimmjow just gives him a look, shutting the pale figure up again. Shiro just waited, waited to find out what it was the blunet wanted to say.

”.....I **don’t** give second chances. I’ve been fucked over too many times for that. M'pretty sure I made that one clear ta you ages ago.”

Shiro swallows down, a painful lump seemingly stuck on his throat. He knew this. Grimmjow had told him the story about Luppi, how it had ended. About the stuff Aizen had done to him and Nel, how in those cases he’d tried to have faith, tried to believe what others told him, yet it wasn’t worth it.

The blunet sighs and rubs his eyes, shaking his head with a deep frown on his face.

”....You’re the first one who’s shown any kinda _genuine_ remorse for their bullshit. So. I’m listenin' fer now.”

Shiro blinks confused, gaining an annoyed huff from Grimmjow.

”Ya said in the unsent message that you’d explain the whole fucking thing. Well, I’m giving you a shot to do exactly that! I won’t promise m’gonna forgive you, but at least knowing all the facts helps ending this feelin’ that I’m missin’ something.”

The golden eyes widen, and then Shiro takes a step closer, badly wanting to hug or kiss him for giving him a chance to explain himself, but a low growl stops him on his tracks. Instead, Shiro sits cautiously on the feet end of the bed, thinking trough on what he wanted to say.

”....I...came ta Hueco Mundo, after I found out ta man who... Look, my ma was lookin’ into some stuff that was connected to Aizen somehow. She was killed for it. Then I heard yer fam had close dealings with Aizen.”

”My _dad,_ not me.”

Shiro flinches, but then just bites his lip, continuing his story.

”Didn’t know that then. So I came here in hopes to dig some info about Aizen trough ya. But....”

Shiro closes his eyes and swallows down hard, thinking very hard how to put it.

”Ya weren’t **at all** what I expected. The longer I was here, the more I learned ’bout him from you...it was no longer about our ma only; I wanted to find that bastard and fuck him up for _you_ as well.”

A mocking sneer escapes from Grimmjow’s mouth, and Shiro glances at him.

”Yer just a **_brat_** ; even if you found Aizen, you coulda not have done **shit.** ”

The pale figure flinches again, then sighs and chuckles out loud, curling up and hugging his knees.

”I know. I was just.... I’ve always had trouble wit’ m’ temper. M’ pretty vengeful. Act before I think. I just...I wasn’t thinking shit trough properly.”

**_”Obviously.”_ **

Shiro remains quiet for a moment, gazing the floor.

”Overtime....I realized if I’d keep diggin’ info from you, I’d just...it felt wrong. I could tell ya _hated_ talking about it. But I still wanted ta find Aizen. That’s where Gin comes in.”

”You sound fuckin’ obsessive, you know that?”

Shiro lets out another shaky cackle, and uncurls himself, turning to finally look at Grimmjow properly. He no longer looked angry strangely enough, just serious.

”Yeah. I....tend to get fixated on shit I’m emotional about. It’s...doctors always said it related to whatever genetic shit caused my albinism.”

”I’m _pretty_ fuckin’ sure those two things aren’t usually related.”

”No they ain’t; my case’s something...unique I suppose. More like whatever causes these...issues is the main thing, the albinism is a side-effect or somethin' like that.”

Shiro shrugs, turning his gaze aside for a moment. He bites his lip again, trying his best to just remain calm. He’d been waiting for so long to speak about this, and couldn’t believe Grimm had _actually_ given him a chance to do so.

”How’dya even run into a bastard like Gin?”

”He helped me out one time. I didn’t actually know he was connected ta Aizen at first. It came up later.”

Grimmjow hums at that, but doesn’t say anything otherwise, just waiting.

”After that...I asked if _he_ coulda get me the info. He was reluctant at first, probably thinkin’ like you that I was crazy, but when he learned about my ma, he agreed after a while. Apparently Aizen fucked wit’ someone he cared ’bout too. I didn’t know ya hat beef wit’ ’im, not until...you know. He just told me to not tell ya about him ’cause he didn’t wanna get involved with a criminal family no more.”

Shiro releases a slow sigh and brushes trough his hair.

”I guess...I should’ve broken things off at that point. I...didn’t have a reason ta stay anymore per say. But...”

He looks up at the stoic blue eyes, swallowing down hard.

”I _couldn’t_ bring m’self to leave.”

After that admission, he falls quiet again, cautiously gouging out Grimmjow’s reaction. After a long moment, he closes his eyes and sighs slowly.

”......My biological mum _died_ because of ’im. He was a doc in the maternity ward where she gave birth ta me. He screwed somethin’ up and caused her ta die; that's why pops no longer trusted hospitals, after she died there. They then claimed ta us she died due to _childbirth_. I didn’t find out the truth till Pops got involved with Aizen and we met Gin again.”

Shiro turns speechless upon hearing that admission.

Sure, Gin had...told him he’d done some bad things in the past, but he’d never thought it was so closely connected to Grimmjow.

”My ex... _Luppi_ was ta one who told me. He used it ta get me ta attack Gin, ’cause he’d been annoying Luppi ’bout something. He liked ta rub that lie in my face, thinking it was funny.”

Shiro shudders a bit at the mention of that name. Grimmjow had told him about this manipulative ex around the time he’d really started to fall for the blunet.

He was glad to never have met Luppi, for he sounded like a terrible piece of shit.

The fact Grimmjow....that he’d made Grimmjow think he was _similar._

It hurt. It made Shiro feel ashamed of himself, more than he already did.

Feeling guilt raise in his throat again, Shiro turns his gaze aside, biting his lip so hard he actually reopened the wound on it, making small drops of red fall down to the bedsheets.

”...Shi.”

The golden eyes turn reluctantly towards the blunet after a while, and he’s taken aback by how exhausted Grimmjow was now.

” _Go home._ This whole fucking thing....t’s gonna get you killed like yer brother is saying. That kinda obsession over this shit ain't healthy. We'll deal wit' Aizen, we've done it before anyway.”

”I..”

”Shi. I _meant it._  How many fuckin' times I have to say this? I don’t give second chances. I......fuck, I _do_ believe ya meant every word ya just said. But you fucked up, and I can’t go back on my own morals just ’cause I...”

He sighs and shakes his head, bringing his free hand up to rub his eyes.

”Grimm, I, I...”

**”No.”**

The blunet cuts him off before he could come up with anything to say.

”For yer own sake, listen ta yer brother. _Go home._ This ain’t yer world. Get outta here before it gets you killed.”

His tone was final, and after a long moment, Shiro sigh and nods, swallowing down the bitter lump in his throat.

He was right. Ichi was right.

He should not continue on this crazy journey anymore. Slowly, he gets up and walks towards the door, his body feeling numb. He was...he’d expected this, but...somehow, having Grimmjow _believe_ him and the fact his feelings _were_ genuine, and **still** be told to leave...

 

 

When Ichigo saw him come back, he could tell all was not well.

He gets up and reaches Shiro just as he collapses to the floor, tears pouring down from his eyes.

The ginger just sighs and hugs him, having nothing to say to ease the pain Shiro was feeling right now.

 

 

 

”Are you... _sure_ about this?”

”Nel. Ya know he don’t belong here. He’s tough but still just some kid from a nice neighborhood with friends and family, an' based on what he told me he's got issues he should be takin' care of instead of runnin' around hunting down murderers. This is the best I can do fer ’im.”

The woman sighs, understanding where he was coming from. He was not willing to back down and let go of his code when it came to second chances - lack of them thereof - but also wanted to at least make it less hostile this time, because Shiro didn’t really deserve the same treatment the rest did. Unlike those before him, Shiro had grown to care for Grimmjow genuinely, instead of just manipulating him to get what he wanted. 

So, he’d used the danger of Shiro’s intentions and his brother’s worry as an excuse to tell him to leave.

It should’ve made it easier, but Nel could tell it didn’t.

The pale figure was still numb, just sort of staring into thin air on his brother’s room, and the woman could see _her_ brother was struggling as well. Because, unlike those previous times, Grimmjow **didn’t** hate Shiro in the end. Not really. He was still deeply attached to the albino.

Nel couldn’t stop but worry that letting Shiro go like this was a bad idea.

Maybe on short term it was the right thing to do, but she had a feeling leaving like this would leave too many unresolved issues.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno what to say here tbh  
> in case U wondering what happened to Luppi  
> he ded  
> he VERY ded.  
> Because that's just what tends to happen with him and Grimmjow.  
> Ugh, writing the next chapter will be trickier as I have a couple of directions this could go. We'll see.


End file.
